One of my favorite blogs to read had this post last week. In case you're short on reading time, or don't feel like clicking the link, I'll sum it up. This family is in the process of adopting (yet another) little boy with club feet. The mother-to-be talks about how she imagines the biological mother might have been crushed when she saw her son's (imperfect) feet, but how excited she (blog author) and her family are to take this little boy in and love him, feet and all.
Of course this story makes me think back to when we found out about Eli's feet. But even more it makes me think about Maddux's birth. Since we knew about Eli's condition before he was born, we had time to prepare ourselves and get a 'game plan'. Maddux's feet appeared un-clubbed in the ultrasound, but I still always knew in the back of my mind that she might have some feet challenges when she was born. We were pleasantly surprised that her feet were issue-free. But in the months leading up to her birth I remember being even more anxious about her health than I was before Eli's birth. When we got the diagnosis of his feet, I focused on the treatment plan and just trusted that God wouldn't give us more than one issue to deal with. In the case of Eli, He didn't give us anymore to handle. Since Maddux's ultrasounds came back 'clean', that was cause for initial celebration, but soon after I began to worry about what the ultrasound didn't show. What would I be surprised with in the delivery room? And would I be able to handle it as calmly and lovingly as I had Eli's feet? Or would I be too overwhelmed? Would I react the way the parents of Shepherd did, and think my child 'imperfect'? These are really tough questions to answer, and until you're in that situation, you can't say 100% what you would do or feel. I'm lucky that I wasn't faced with an 'unknown' at the time of either birth.
For now I'm thankful that Eli's feet are corrected and (at the moment) both of my children are very healthy. I pray that Shepherd's feet are as easily fixed as Eli's (and Jude's, Shepherd's brother). And for all of the other kids out there that are waiting to find parents to love them, even though their biological parents deemed them 'imperfect', I hope a family as loving and giving as Shepherd's finds them soon. (If you want to know more about Jude and Shepherd and their amazing family, including eight total kids - both biological and adopted, check out this website, that I've been following for over a year.)
2 comments:
It's not the same, I know but when the doctor told us our son had a "sizable" birthmark it didn't really register at first. (the type of birthmark he has is associated with other problems in 50-70+% of cases.) I was so in awe of the little bundle that I was holding that I was blind to everything else. Hormones? Adrenaline from labor, maybe? I can't ever imagine rejecting a child because he/she is imperfect, though. I'd like to think Shepherd's feet were just an "excuse" attached to a long list of other circumstances the led his biological mother to make the decision that she did.
I would love my child regardless. When I was pregnant with Peyton I had the quad screen done and it came back with high levels of Trisomy 18. Most babies with this don't live past a few hours after being born. When I heard the news yes I was devistated. The doc talked to us about amnio's and a possibility of terminating the pregnancy. We decided against the amnio as it wouldn't have made a diffrence either way. I was carrying him to term and would just face what ever obstacles came afterwards. Luckely for us the tests were wrong and he is healthy. I think people need to realize that all children are gifts from god and every child is a blessing.
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