Big Boy Baseball

Eli's love for baseball has spanned his entire life...he has held the game so close to his heart that even at the earliest of ages, it was obvious to us: we met that by giving him a baseball tee for his second birthday. While he has dabbled in soccer and basketball, his passion has always been for the diamond.

I can't help but think back to the early days...I remember the day I took this photo.

Eli was not even three years old. We visited Fullers Park for a picnic dinner and ended up (of course) on the field, with Eli practicing some pitches, and then us pitching to him so he could run the bases. This was a no-brainer fun night for Eli...he has always, even at two, loved everything about baseball.

Tonight I sit at Fullers Park, as I have so many nights since he turned four and started playing 'for real', watching him play. Tonight I sit watching his game at the same field we played in that night, the 'big' field where the next to biggest kids play their games. Tonight he stands on that same mound he stood on at two years old and he pitches as one of the big kids. And I can hardly stand it.

The Space We're In

In the blink of an eye. Expectant parents hear it over and over from those who have gone before them. And it rings true for every stage from the nighttime feedings through college. Never have I been made more aware of that than this fall. While I've noticed Eli and Maddux growing up, and I've seen some 'stage-passing', I suddenly find that we are in a stage that I didn't even realize was so close.

In the last 4-6 weeks Maddux has started 4th grade which has proven to be a pivotal year in our house. She has more homework (not necessarily in a bad way) than before, her classroom responsibilities (independent of family support) has increased, she has freedoms at school that she didn't before (pre-school day activities and recess activities that foster some Independence and choice), and she is staying after school two days each week for various activities. All of that in addition to soccer, which we were overjoyed to find out she wanted to try again.

At the same time, Eli started middle school and its obvious new stage. He's got way more work than before, and I don't even know about most of it, he carries a laptop throughout his day (heavily monitored by the school), he participates in two after school activities meaning Friday is the only day he comes home before 5, he is involved in baseball again, but in the second to last tier of the league (aka BIG kid ball), and he is participating in band.

Sound like a lot? It is! We didn't intentionally get to this 'lot' place...Maddux has been less than enthusiastic about a sport or extracurricular for the last few years, so this fall we decided to not push a team, but instead to try two 'FAST' programs so she could try something on for size with very short commitment. She opted for a running club and a chemistry program. Then, after those had started, she started speaking up about soccer. We did what we could to get her on a team, but this now meant two day/week practices in addition to FAST. The girl is handling it like a champ so far. She is LOVING soccer and thriving at it, and she seems to have a flair for running; she currently holds the #4 fastest girl in the school title for the mile run.

Our rule has always been one activity at a time for each kid, but with Middle School comes school teams and activities that require less commitment from the parents. And I wanted to encourage Eli to try all of this cool new stuff that was available to him. He is always up for that kind of thing, so he hopped into Cross Country two weeks before school started. He runs 2-3 days each week for practice and has 1-2 meets a week. The meets require driving, but the practices are right after school on campus, so it's 'easy'. Robotics just opened up and Eli signed up. Only one meeting each week, but again, it's easy. Now he's talking baseball (for the school) or swim. And of course he's playing a team at the same league he's been involved with since he was 4. But this baseball team is so different. The boys are so big and the rules are getting very 'real'....it is amazing to watch! Oh yeah, and Eli needs a ride to and from school each day.

So this 'lot' requires much coordination on our part. My logistical gymnastic ability (or lack there of) is being tested daily, and I am ever grateful of the village around me that allows for carpooling and kid shuffling. This fosters some Independence from my kids as they are in and out of other families' cars often now, hopefully being gracious and courteous. All of this 'lot' of school work and activities has quickly become the new norm and I couldn't be more proud of Maddux and Eli for how they are handling it. Grades are not perfect but really good, and through minimal nagging and/or assistance from us. These kids are growing up and becoming responsible in ways I didn't even know I could expect of them yet. God is good.

Sportsmanship

Eli.

That boy.

I love him with ever fiber of my being. And I know who is he. And who he is not.

Eli is a sports enthusiast. Give him a ball and a game and he will spend his day playing and practicing. Especially when it comes to baseball. We gave him a tee when he turned two, and he went to his first baseball evaluation the week he turned four. And even in those early EARLY baseball years, he would last through a 45 minute pre-game practice, an hour+ game, and still come home and want to go outside to hit and throw. His love for baseball has never been questioned.

But Eli is not the kid who will be team captain. His gift is not building other players up. His gift is not congratulating the other team, regardless of the outcome. And while Lehr and I struggle with that and try to 'grow' him in that area, it's just not his forte.

Today Eli was recognized by his team for a sportsmanship award. Each team in the league votes for a member of their team to receive this award (the players, not the coaches). We had some heads' up that Eli would be the recipient because a few of his teammates insisted he would win as we gathered for the practice following the vote. On the drive home that night, Eli and I talked about that and we had one of our most mature conversations to date.

Eli said he couldn't understand why the kids voted for him and thought he would receive enough votes for it. We discussed how many times, something that requires a 'vote' during your youth ends up being less about the actual award and more about people wanting to recognize you in general, so he should take it as a compliment that his team likes him enough to vote for him. He told me that he understood that, but he wasn't the greatest sportsman.

And I agreed.

I was completely honest with him and told him that while he is a very driven and motivated player who loves the game, he is more of the silent cheerer. And he is not always positive when things don't go the way he hoped on the field. Then I pointed to two other boys on the team who showed the 'sportsman' qualities 100% of the time. Eli agreed. He thought they should be voted in, not him. He said, "Not to put myself down, but they are WAY better at cheering on other people than I am." I wish I had recorded the conversation somehow, because it went on and on and was full of little gems.

It was a really cool conversation that showed some self-awareness that I didn't think was present. And there was an attitude of humility in our ten minute drive home that I have almost never seen with Eli. Big time maturity...made mama proud.

And on another positive note, throughout the game that immediately followed the recognition, I heard Eli speak up more in the dugout than I've ever heard him before. Oh so good....

The Perfect Pitch

So we're back in the game, and this is a new league for us. Not only can the kids steal bases (actually, they steal a LOT of bases), but the kids pitch also. It is the first time Eli's been a part of a game that has absolutely no adult participation. There are umps and first base coaches, but no adults on the field directing, or backing up the catcher, or pitching to the batter.

Eli received his first opportunity to pitch this last week. He only ended up pitching one inning in his first game, but it was just enough. He handled himself quite well on the mound, not getting too nervous or inconsistent. His team played great defense and helped him have a very successful inning.

About a week later, Eli got to pitch again. This time he had a bit of a different experience. While he had some good pitches, he struggled with getting the ball over the plate at times. Many of the batters that came up against him received a full count before walking; Eli ended the inning with a very high pitch count.

Here is where my boy is starting to show some maturity. A year or so ago, his frustration over not pitching well would have manifested in a sour attitude and it's not likely he would have been able to have any success at all on the mound. Instead, he kept his composure and got out of the inning calmly and humbly. The first thing he told me was, "Well, that was totally different from the last time I was pitcher." Love that my boy is maybe starting to allow himself to learn when things don't go as expected!

The Jersey

So yesterday's game was a good one for another reason, totally unrelated to Eli. His coach asked me about a week ago if he could get ahold of the file for Ruby's 'logo' to do something with the boys. I obliged and he showed up to the game today with stickers for the boys' helmets.

He talked briefly before handing them out about how we are honoring Wyatt (a boy in the league who is battling cancer) with a patch on their uniforms, and how they have another hero on the team: Eli's sister. The boys all slapped the stickers on their helmets immediately and started trying to give her high-fives. She loved it. The coach and team mom also got Ruby a jersey with her name on it and Eli's number (#1).

Amazing.

The boys called her their cheerleader, their mascot, and their 'bat girl'. She couldn't stop looking at her shirt and pointing to it.

Grand Slam

Eli has been back in the Fullers Park fields for less than a month, but it feels like we never left (we took an 18month break to try soccer). Eli is really loving baseball, kid pitch, and his team. His coach is great; we were on a team together several seasons ago and we are so glad he grabbed Eli for his team. (He's one of the 'good ones' that understands the importance of building sportsmanship and confidence into the boys.)

This afternoon's game was a good one, with the momentum shifting a few times between the two teams. Eli played on third and in the outfield, making some solid plays. His best play, however, came during his second at-bat. He hit the ball into the outfield and managed to make it around the bases, sliding into home for a homer. But not just any home run: a grand slam! (The bases were loaded when he hit the ball.)

Eli was so excited that he got a home run, but he didn't realize the four runs it earned until he was back in the dugout and his teammates told him.

Eli had success during his other at-bats, as well: Lehr caught his ending triple on video.

Nine Lives

Another year gone in the blink of an eye.

You had a great year in third grade; your teacher was a he! Your love for reading was as obvious as ever as we often heard from your teacher in conferences or notes home that you were 'sneaking' reading instead of doing your classwork. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree as that was a constant battle for me as a child. We could not be happier that you are happy to stick your nose in a book. And you've started reading more non-fiction, usually about the civil war. Daddy loves that as he has always been very interested in history. That love for history translated into you dressing up as Abe Lincoln for Halloween.

Best. Costume. Ever.

We had our first bout of lice this year, starting with you. (I think you had half the kids in your class lice-ing at one point.) Smart boy: you opted for a head shave instead of incessant lice combing.

You sat the season of fall ball out. Between some behavior issues and our 'new normal' with Ruby, it was not something we could justify doing. That left great 'holes' in our schedule for after school play and family time at night. It was REALLY nice. This also allowed for us to not be burned out in November, which meant you could try basketball for the first time. You were a quick learner and you seemed to really enjoy the season.

After the holidays you also picked up skateboarding. We bought you a board for Christmas and you've gone to the skate park several times. It's not your strength to take chances with a 'risky' sport like that, but you've done well and seem to really enjoy it.

Back on the field in the spring; baseball for the last time in the Pinto league. You had a great season, catching several line drives and stepping up your fielding ability. More games than not, you were found at first, helping to anchor the team. You even showed some leadership on the field during some of the games, reminding the younger players where the play was as each batter came up to the plate.

As always, summer found you swimming, this time at the height of your age group. Your favorite event at the meet (the IM) is the dreaded for most other swimmers. We took you to county again, and even though you didn't finish in the top 10, you improved your times so much over the summer.

Your eighth year ended with you attending two really cool camps. One was a history camp in town; very opposite of the usual sports and active type camp you normally gravitated towards. You loved it though, and you learned a ton. The other was overnight camp. You (and Drew) went away for almost an entire week. You were definitely nervous when we dropped you off (even more so because you and Drew were staying on completely opposite sides of the camp), but it was obvious through the pictures we saw online that you warmed up quickly and had an absolute blast.

Nine whole years under your belt...where does the time go. I love that you're still so innocent, so naive, so willing and interested in just being a kid. I love that you ask, or beg, to go on one-on-one dates with your dad or I. I love that you still want me to read to you before bed. I love everything about you, Eli.

Final Baseball Game

Eli had his last baseball game for the season this morning.

The team played well, but they lost, eliminating them from the post season. Eli was mostly at third base and pitcher this time around, proving once again to be a pretty solid utility man. This was not just Eli's last game as a Yankee, but his last as a Pinto league player; next season he'll be in the Mustang league. That's kid-pitch...crazy!

One positive of being eliminated: swim team starts on Monday. Now we don't have to fit both sports in at once.

Game Ball

Eli had a late game tonight, meaning only one adult could attend while the other stayed home with the girls so they could have a normal bedtime. Since it was so nice out, I asked to go so I could take pictures. Amazing night. Amazing game.

Eli played really well. His glove recently broke down, so he's been experimenting with some others in the last few weeks. Tonight he ended up using the new one he got me for my birthday. He didn't have much of a chance to practice with it, so there were a few fumbled catches at first base in the first inning. But he went on to hit a double, hit another one almost out of the park (RIGHT at the fence!), and make several outs at first. One of the best plays of the night was the catch he made in left field. There was a strong pop fly hit deep, almost to the wall, and Eli made a diving catch for the out, shocking everyone. Grins from ear to ear.

Appropriately so, Eli earned the game ball. (The coaches do their best to make sure every boy earns at least one ball per season. That sometimes means the ball doesn't always match the play.)

On the ride home I told him how proud I was of him. He worked hard to have a good game, but the best part was how he learned from the mistakes he made in the first inning or so and moved on. Eli has struggled in teh past to 'move on' from small mistakes, often times letting them get the best of him for the whole game. Tonight was the opposite; he totally rallied, as did the team, and Eli's team came back to win after being behind and then having a very close game for a few innings.

Pressure

Since the beginning of time, or at least time as far as Eli's concerned, we've seen the struggle with anger. He is a very happy kid; people are always commenting on his ever-present smile. But if he's overly tired or frustrated, he can lash out. We have definitely seen him come a long way in controlling his anger behavior, but he still has his moments. (Don't we all?!)

Unfortunately, this season we've seen this manifest on the baseball field. When Eli gets to his 'point', he is not listening, argumentative over EVERYthing, and very much in the mindset of finger-pointing. This is Eli's last season in the pinto baseball league, meaning he is the 'big kid' on the team. We talked to him in great length about how cool an opportunity it is, to be the example for the team. Normally, he's a great sportsman and doesn't get down on himself or stress out too much about the game. However, we've had two games where that wasn't the case. The first time wasn't too bad; he missed a few balls and got a little upset, but turned it around. The second time, I almost pulled him from the game. He missed a few balls at first base, and then got called out at second on a close play. He came back to the dugout very frustrated and mouthed off to me about 'the ump saw it wrong'. (This is a BIG point of contention for Lehr and I as we've seen too many boys in this league 'blame' the coaches or umps. Not okay.) When Eli is in this state, there really is no reasoning with him, but I very calmly and very sternly let him know that his reaction was out of line and he needed to turn it around. (We talk all of the time about how his 'job' is to play and have fun and the ump's job is to make the calls. Right or wrong, the ump is RIGHT.)

Eli calmed himself down and the game continued, but Eli's example for the team was poor at best. No, he didn't call out the ump in a public way. No, he didn't come back to the dugout and yell or kick or throw things. But his attitude of expecting nothing but perfect plays from himself was starting to happen too often for our taste. And while his reaction in that game wasn't overboard, we don't want to ignore something that could escalate. I love that he takes his performance seriously, and I love that he strives to be the best he can be. Our disagreement comes in the purpose of mistakes. I try to remind him that 'sometimes you win and the other times you learn'...he doesn't like that too much.

I had a loooong talk with Eli on the way home. (It was just the two of us in the car.) He was receptive to everything I was saying because he'd totally calmed down by that point. I reminded him that baseball was a game that was intended to be fun. At the end of it, I told him that I would be talking to Dad more about it, but there would not be anymore baseball (practices or games) if we saw anything close to that on the field again. Lehr had the AWESOME idea the next morning to have Eli do a little research as part of his consequence. I don't remember all of the details, but Eli had to dig around on a few baseball sites to find out the stats on some of his favorite players (those that are seen as very successful). Then he needed to define a batting average and what an ump's job is. It was followed up by a big talk with Lehr about the 'assignment' and about what happened. We have not seen any issues like that again this season. Score one for Daddy.

Airborn

Eli has had four games so far; one last weekend and then three days in a row this weekend. Each one has been on a beautiful spring-weather day....we love it!

I've been shooting as much as I can during the games. I was especially excited for our last one because Eli was playing against his BFF's brother. So when said brother got up to the plate in the first inning, I fixed my lens on his batting stance and started shooting him. Wouldn't you know it, on the second swing he hit a monster of a high line drive to the far side of second base. I turned my head just in time to see Eli jump from his spot between 1st and 2nd all of the way over to the ball and catch it midair for the out. He seriously was parallel to the ground!

Even after the game, coaches and parents from both teams were coming up to Eli to compliment him on the amazing catch he'd made. Eli earned the honor of 'team captain' for that catch; he gets to wear the team sweatband until the next game.

The photographer in me wished so much that I could have gotten that shot, but I think Eli will remember that catch for a while, even without the picture.

Spring Fever

We are back in the game!!

Eli opted to return to baseball this season. After our parent-imposed fall away from sports, Eli returned to his first love. And even though he talked about football, or maybe even soccer, after the very first practice, he was back to hitting off of the tee, setting up baseball diamonds, and begging me to throw him pop ups, grounders and 'hard' line drives. That boy loves the game.

I am very excited to be back at the ball park too. Eli is so focused and so 'into' the game; it's an absolute joy to watch him play. And this is his final season in this league, so he is definitely the big kid on the team. Even if not too much in size, definitely in age. I hope he finds his way into a leadership role, from an encouraging standpoint.

As expected, I am back behind the camera. This season Lehr is pitching during the games, so Ruby will end up riding on my back as I shoot. So far she doesn't mind.

Open Calendar

Since Eli turned four years old, we have only skipped one baseball season (the fall that found us in the middle of a renovation and partly out of our house until Thanksgiving). And while we love baseball, and we do, it is taxing on our calendar.

Every season comes and we sign Eli up again though. He loves it; he seriously comes home from practices and games and asks us to pitch to him in the yard, or throw the ball with him. This is after a minimum of 90-minutes spent at the ball park. (Games are closer to 2 1/2 hours between pre-game practice and game time.) And we do, not because he has the potential to be a player in the MLB one day but because he absolutely loves the game. And we do too. Lehr and I both love watching baseball, and Maddux has grown up at the ball-park; she had just turned 2 when Eli started playing and I have chased her all around that place during games and practices. It's just part of who we are. Even though Eli is on the field, it is a family activity that we do together. He knows we are there supporting him, Maddux interacts with him through the fence, we get some individual time with Maddux, etc. Also, we love the confidence it gives Eli. He is not (nor will he likely ever be) the biggest, or the fastest, or the best. But he loves baseball and we see cool changes in his 'game' every season. And even though he knows he's not the star player, he has success on the field or at bat each and every game, and I know that helps him balance out being a small boy in a big-boy school and league.

Fast forward to this summer; we were busy. Having another baby will do that to you! Between the addition of Ruby and some behavior issues with Eli that started to pop up more often last spring, we started toying with the idea of a season away from baseball. I really didn't want to do it, but trying to imagine getting all three kids to the field (plus snacks or meals), half of the time on my own (during the week, Lehr has to meet us at the field) was stressing me out. Then I'd also have to feed Ruby at the field many times. And Eli's behavior stuff that we were struggling with definitely escalated when he was tired; weeknight baseball games start at 5:30 or 7:30. That means the earliest Eli is in bed is 8PM. Difficult for our sleep-needing boy.

So August came and we did not attend the baseball evaluation. The first few weeks of practices came and our friends all went to the fields and we did not. I definitely second guessed myself a few times; I already missed it even before the games started!

Then I started hearing the calendar adds of our friends, the two-practice, two-game weeks. The rescheduled-for-rain nights. At that point I felt a little better because I knew how hard it was some nights just to get dinner on the table for three kids and that was without that extra 'schedule conflict'. But that was just about me; I still had some reservations because I wasn't sure if taking ball away for the season was having a positive impact on Eli (and Maddux).
Then I started noticing something. We were playing more family games. We were having whiffle ball and badminton tournaments in the backyard. We were able to run last minute errands one-on-one with kids after dinner. The kids had books read to them at bedtime EVERY night. Eli and Maddux were spending time together willingly, and being creative with their time.

 We were doing some family workouts and therapy for Eli. The kids would disappear for 30 minutes here or there and come back with random kid art or a random project started. And (the biggest) Eli was having many less meltdowns. His anger was waaaay more self-managed. And when he did start to blow up, he was able to get it under control more quickly. I realize that does not mean Eli was the problem and taking away baseball 'fixed' him; it is very likely a combination of Lehr and I being less rushed and stressed AND Eli being less rushed and stressed.

As with many things in life, while we were in the middle of the season of no-ball, I didn't notice much difference. But once I looked back over the last week, the last month, the last few months, I realize how many weekend pockets of time we had together as a family. How many bonfires with friends we had in the backyard. How many crafts and holiday foods the kids and I got to make together. All small things, but all so big in the grand scheme of things.

So we will likely join back into baseball in the spring. And I'm excited for it - REALLY excited. But having a no-ball season was a really really great thing for our family. It created just enough margin for us to really stop and pay attention to each other, to play after school most days, to have NOTHING on the calendar some Saturdays.... Even though we knew we were busy with the baseball schedule in our life, I don't think we realized HOW busy until we took it away.