ll. In addition, I've been emailing a few other moms in an effort to find some rhyme to Eli's reason (or lack thereof), so any computer time has been eaten up by that. Let me just say that I am sure it is something Lehr and I are doing wrong...we're obviously eliciting this behavior, but I do not know what specifically to do to change it. HELP!!Today Eli hit me when I was putting on his PJ's for bed. How did that happen!?!? When did my sweet little boy that we've been so careful to stay calm through every situation with decide that it was OK to strike his authority figure? When he hit me I calmly told him that it was not OK to hit mommy and that he had lost the privilege of books (I'd already warned him). I then kissed him and told him I loved him and good-night, but of course he cried as I left the room. I did not know what else to do though, because if I stayed in there and gave him another chance, what would that teach him? I am at a loss here.... I do not know where he gets that physical anger from since we have not spanked him at all yet. I really thought we were doing a good job of teaching to Eli's heart. We have always done our best to remain calm with him during times of discipline, and we've never fought in front of him in a way that suggested lack of self-control, either verbal or physical. Yet Eli has always had an issue with self-control (both verbal and physical) during times of anger. I am reading and re-reading so many books right now, and I've spent more time in prayer this week than ever before in my life. For now we will continue to use time-outs and toy time-outs and hope they start to get through to him. Especially in light of this aggression, I'm hesitant to spank at this point.
It is breaking my heart the way Eli is acting. I am trying the best I can to give him special one-on-one mommy time, but he doesn't seem to even want it. About 40 minutes after I left Eli's room tonight he started to cry again. I want(ed) so badly to go back into his room and talk things through with him, but I worried that this might send him a message that if you want to spend time with Mommy, be mean to her right before bed and then cry later so she'll come back in. This is so hard!!!!
2 comments:
Nicole, do you think he might be bored? Or not getting enough energy out physically? It can be hard to remember that even though they're not changing as much physically, their little minds are continuing to grow at a phenomenal rate. He might be ready for new activities, or more activites.
Good luck! We're just about in our "terrible twos"...can't wait.
We have had a book recommened to us called the strong willed child by dr. Dobson. I haven't read it yet so I can't recommend it to you but it's been recommened to us. I think we both have strong willed ones on our hands. You and Lehr have NOT caused this. He is his own person and is getting out his frustration with his boundaries the only way he knows how. continue to keep those bondaries there and remind him they are there. Correct as you need to and as often as you need to. Just remember that they sometimes needs lots of reminding. I think they just get so excited about their world that sometimes it is hard to know when to stop and tone it down. One thing we do with ryan is give him a count down to when a certain time will end and a new time will end. Say for instance it is getting close to bed time ... we will give him a 5 minute warning then a 2 minute warning then a one minute warning. It has helped a ton! You are doing a great job. give yourself some grace! :)
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