Monday, September 03, 2007

All By Myself

It's amazing what a little family time will do. Eli had a much better day yesterday and today is shaping up to be the same. I guess he just missed his family working and playing together.

It's even more amazing what a little 'me' time will do. This weekend I snuck away to the gym, to run errands, and then to do some trail running at my favorite local hiking spot. Since it was just me and my iCole, I did a lot of thinking, which, much to Lehr's dismay, translates into a lot of rambling/blogging.

One thing I realized on my outing was that I've been neglecting identity as anything but a mother recently. Not that I've had much of a choice; the first few months are a bit demanding due to so many feedings. I know that is not fair to me or my children. I want them to see their mother as more than just their mother. I want Eli and Mad Dog to know Mommy also loves to take pictures (not only of them). I want them to know she loves to hike and bike. I want them to know she has friends that don't always have come with built-in playmates for them. I want them to know I enjoy volunteering to work on trail maintenance or at a soup kitchen. I want this more for Maddux than Eli, because it really hit me today that I am her primary female role-model (gasp!). I want Eli to look up to me as a role-model, but I never worry too much because I know he has such a great guy to look up to already. It makes me smile every time I see Eli imitate something Lehr does unintentionally, such as lean back in his chair after dinner or play the air guitar during a Joe Bonamassa song. So my pledge to myself and my children is to get out more and do things for myself.

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