Thursday, October 22, 2015

You Make Me Brave

As Your love, in wave after wave, Crashes over me....For You are for us, You are not against us - Brave, Bethel

You make me brave. Such a powerful chorus.

I love this song; it is one that I stumbled upon the very week of Ruby's initial blood test recall. It's one I find myself humming often, even without realizing it, and it is definitely one that I find comfort in when I'm feeling very NOT brave.

I know it is God that makes all of us brave when we need to be, but lately this song makes me think of Ruby. Not only is she crazy brave, to be who she is unashamedly, to stand proudly before everyone as if she did not have a label on her head, to face cancer, but she helps me find bravery.
She makes me so brave, even though I don't feel like I'm brave. I know this because when I see someone else going through something in their life and I think that there is no way I could handle that, I'm often reminded that what we are in the midst of is pretty darn crazy. But Ruby somehow makes me forget how hard it is.
Ruby makes me brave enough to face things that I was (and still am) more afraid of than anything. She makes me brave enough to be a mom of a special needs child. She makes me brave enough to be a part of a community of other kids with special needs. And now she makes me brave enough to have a child with cancer. The reason I say she makes me brave is because all of these things have been easy (even when they're not easy). Easy because she totally takes me by the hand and leads me through it. She gives me milestones when she knows it is what I need to keep going through the many hours dedicated to PT. She gives me words and sounds when she knows I am starting to doubt all of the oral motor exercises and flash card drills I put her through. And she takes on chemo without batting an eye because she knows this process is hard enough, and her slowing down and/or showing signs of sickness would be more than I could bear.
So I guess this is just another example of God using people to reach other people, using one person's story to tell another person's story, using someone's bravery to elicit someone else's bravery. So thankful He is for us!

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