Matthew 6:8 For your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.
Yes, yes, and yes. (To the verse, not the title of this post.)
Ruby has been in the hospital for 13 nights; today is her 14th day here. I have been here the majority of those nights, and I've only not been here for one day (yesterday). Lehr has been amazing and has relieved me for a few nights here and there, and comes to see her/help me very often. If it were up to him, he'd check in Friday afternoon and stay until Monday morning, but you know Mama Bear can't stay away that long.
So the questions I get most often from friends and family are regarding what Ruby's treatment at the hospital means. When we say she's in the hospital for 21 days, that means she checked in on September 1st, and the earliest they will release her is September 22 (she came in one day early). No visits home, no trips to the park, no rides in the car...she is living at the hospital, never leaving the hospital grounds. And because she's two, that means a family member is with her at all times, 24/7, sleeping on a couch, feeding her meals, playing with her all day...in the hospital. So if I'm not here, it's because Lehr came to the hospital and tagged me out, and vice versa.
*(We can have some other people stay with Ruby for short windows of time, but it's always a delicate dance of if her numbers are good, or if anything 'big' will happen when we're gone. A friend planned to relieve me for a few hours on Saturday, but at the last minute Ruby spiked a fever, so that was out. And then yesterday she needed platelets, so it almost didn't happen for my dad to stay with her so that Lehr could come home.)
The last two weeks have not been bad. Not as bad as I may have imagined it. I really embraced our temporary home; I think of it as Ruby and my dorm room (since we sleep, eat, play, work, brush teeth in the same space). But last week's news that we would be repeating this stay was a blow to that positive attitude. That news took the wind out of my "We can do this" sails for the remainder of that day. Then Friday was rough. R.O.U.G.H. for Mama Bear. Ruby had to get hemoglobin and platelets and the way that played out was very frustrating to me. It may not have been only due to the logistics...I was probably still dealing with the Thursday news too. Needless to say, by Saturday afternoon, I was struggling to find the joy that came so easily a few days earlier.
But God knows what we need, and boy did He provide. After Eli's soccer game on Saturday afternoon, Lehr and the kids and Grandma and Grandpa came to the hospital for dinner. We all ate together which was so good for my soul, and I know Ruby got a lift out of it too. Then we played in an outdoor space for a while before Aunt Liz and Aunt Megan came. Before bedtime, we all left, including me. (Lehr stayed with Ruby.) And I stayed away from the hospital until first thing this morning.
That's 36 hours.
Doesn't sound like much to me, but it felt like a week or more. I slept in my own bed, went to church, played in the backyard with the kids, did dishes in a real sink, worked out with my friends in the wee hours of the morning, and (thanks to Grandpa) got a quick dinner date with Lehr. That was HUGE. Grandpa stayed with Ruby last night so Lehr got to come home too. We haven't been home, or anywhere other than the hospital as we pass the baton, at the same time in two weeks. It was so great to see him and actually get to talk to him.
So those 36 hours served as a great reminder that God knows what is best, even when we don't know to ask or look for it.