Thursday, September 10, 2015

Pop Goes the Bubble

Isaiah 40:31   But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Here is yet another opportunity for me to not be weary or faint….here is another chance I have to trust Him to take care of my family.

Ruby is doing amazingly well still. Her blood counts are all good, she’s not running any fevers, she’s been off of nausea medicine for several days and hasn’t shown any signs of needing it, and her energy is spot on with what it was before we started chemo. Outside of the fact that we are in the hospital, it’s like there is nothing out of the ordinary going on with her.

Because of this clean bill of health, rounds for Ruby each morning are very quick and uneventful. I decided to rock the boat this morning and ask about future rounds, since this one has been so easy going. Our doctor told me that next round will be some (all?) of the same chemo meds as this one, including the 4-day drip, but they will be stronger and she will feel it more. Because of the increased intensity (here’s the mic drop), Ruby will be in the hospital for another 21 days.

Do not be weary… not be weary…..

The stay in the hospital is no picnic, but it’s manageable, and Ruby and I still get outside, get some speech and OT work done, and even see friends a few days a week. Until this point it was just a goal I had in mind and we were powering through, looking very forward to October. 
Now I know we can manage that for another month. But our family being split in two has been hard for me, even for just the 10 days so far. The things that we’ve built our family on, dinner together each night, bedtime reading, after school check in with homework/sports/goings on….I am missing these things a lot. On top of that, October is a fun month for me and the kids…we do several Halloween and fall type activities: crafts, fun foods, pumpkin patch trips, scarecrow sightings, parades...

And of course this plays into Ruby’s school. I don’t know how it will work because the longer she’s away, the less likely it is that she can hop back into her class. And while she’s rocking and rolling with speech and some fine motor things (because I get to work on it so many times each day), her fatigue for this next round will affect her energy, which could affect her willingness and/or ability to practice those skills.

I know my family is strong, I know this is a short phase for the long life Ruby has ahead of her, I know He will see us through. But this was a deflating moment.

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