Butterfly Kisses

My newest (and Ruby's first) favorite thing:

When I'm nursing Ruby and she gives my upper arm butterfly kisses with her long lashes. Life is good.

First Day of School

Maddux and Eli got on the big yellow bus this morning, off to another year of school. Even though this is only the second year of 'real' school for Maddux, it seems like she's been going for years. She's a pro at the Meet-n-Greet and the bus and all of the back-to-school prep stuff. Eli is too, but this was his 4th (4th!?!?) August catching the bus.

Both kids love their teachers, and they each have a few friends in their class. Eli's teacher is a male this year; not something you often come across at the elementary level, so he is very excited. Maddux is in a class with her good friend, Davis. We'll see if that's a good thing or not.

Our bus stop grew by two this year, making it very full. The year that Eli started, there were only three kids there!!

Mini Me

As much as I claim that Maddux is nothing like me, there are some things about her that are very like me. She is always the first one to join me for a workout, and she is a rockin' hiker. This last weekend, I invited the kids to join me for a workout outside. Maddux was the only one who wanted to come. We did a few exercises in the driveway and then ran up the street. She could not make it all the way up the hill, so she would go as far she could and then turn around and wait for me in the driveway. But she wouldn't just wait; she would be doing exercise when I returned. The first time I returned? Burpees. All on her own. Second time was push-ups. This girl is amazing.

My Hero

Maddux really is my hero. She is everything I'm not and she's everything I hope to be. Confident, socially excellent, brave....I sometimes feel like she is the rock in our family.

Last week the kids helped Lehr work the soccer station at Faith In Action. That translated to Maddux 'wandering' with some friends and their families around to other areas of entertainment. Of course she ended up on the oh-so tall rock wall. Of course, she scaled it. Of course she went higher than Eli. (He later told me, "It was really high up there, Mommy. I was scared!") Of course she did it wearing mismatched knee high socks and two sweatbands and a smile.

Oh that girl....

Ona Move

Ruby is rockin' and rollin' through PT each and every day! Once a week the therapist from Babies Can't Wait comes here to the house to check in with her progress and give us some new exercises, and then I do a 'session' with her at least a few times during our day the rest of the week.

The main thing Ruby is working on right now is tummy time. Just like all babies, the goal is to strengthen her neck, back and core muscles to prepare for play, forward movement, and sitting up. The difference right now is that Ruby's low muscle tone does not set her up well to get into 'successful' positioning for tummy time. Babies typically get their arms and hands under their face and chest to push up. Babies with Down syndrome usually lack enough tone in the chest muscles to get their arms/hands there, so we work to place them there for her, allowing her muscles to strengthen in the process. We use all kinds of fun little props (a ramp, the exercise ball, rolled up towels, and cut-down pool noodles) to help her with this. This morning I grabbed a few seconds of video because when I put her down on the ground without any props, she still lifted pretty well and even made 'eye contact' with the camera, AND she placed her arms/hands underneath her chin all on her own!

Big Siblings

Another big step in the world of BIG siblings today. This afternoon I went to get my mop hair cut which put me out of commission during Ruby's 'dinnertime' feeding. I left a bottle so that Lehr and the older kids could feed her. This was the first time that Maddux and Eli were able to give their sister a bottle and they were SO excited; we built it up for almost a week! Unfortunately, with only one adult there (Daddy), video and photos were difficult as there was a lot going on, but Lehr did manage to get a few photos of Mad Dog feeding Ruby.

Another Corner

It's no secret that we have struggled (and likely will continue to) with Eli's behavior at times. Almost exclusively in the area of anger. We had a few meltdowns in the last two weeks that were off the charts. It got so bad one night that we removed a significant amount of 'stuff' from his room. And while he doesn't have an excessive number of toys and there are no electronics (tv, i-anything, game systems or handhelds), the boy has enough in there to keep him occupied and happy. But after that night he was left with a few lone books and a handful of small, forgotten action figures. It was bad.

We've had more heart-to-heart conversations with Eli (when everyone has calmed down) about what happened, why it happened, how to prevent it from happening again, etc. But every time the temperature rises, that all goes out the window. Eli struggles (as many of us do) with 'walking away'. He will go toe-to-toe with you even after he's lost; he will not back down. Lehr and I have tried many many things to help the situation, none of them working. (But then again, what part of parenting 'works' at this age....we aren't supposed to take stock until they're 25, right?)

I am VERY happy to report that Eli turned himself around on two occasions over the weekend. Both times started with some minor disobedience on his part that required minor correction. And both times he took his consequence in stride and it ended with that. Wow. It ENDED with that. That's not how things have been playing out for Eli lately, so this is HUGE. (Normally, it starts with that and escalates immediately, like a tornado ripping through an entire town in thirty minutes.)

Both Lehr and I talked with him after one of the small infractions, reminding him what a smooth interaction we'd had and praising him BIG time for making the responsible choice to own his behavior. (Most times things get out of control because he blames us: Eli will always tell us, "It got bad because YOU made me do x, y. or z.") As with all things, I am not saying we are past this 'phase' of Eli's, but I am sure glad to have a weekend where everything was calm!

Let's Get Physical!

So far, Ruby has had two sessions of Physical Therapy with a therapist at our house, and countless sessions with me (and sometimes Maddux). The Babies Can't Wait program sends the therapist to our house so we can learn to work with stuff already in our home...works for me!

As expected, Ruby is a rock star. She holds her head up very well when doing therapy, rolls from her stomach to her back often, grabs and holds on to blankets, clothes, my necklaces ALL of the time, and she pulls her hands to midline a lot more than she used to. In addition, she gives little smirks and smiles occasionally. I'm still not 100% convinced that they're 'real', but the timing of them makes it hard to believe that they're just reflexive.

VBX 2013

We look forward to it every year. The first year we participated was actually less than a month after Maddux was born. It's just what we do at the end of July each summer.

VBX is the 'VBS' celebration at our church; we do a camp 4 evenings in a week that include original dramas, lessons, games, and lots of fun and loud worship. Since Lehr and I volunteer each year, our kids got to participate in the pre-school version for years before they were old enough to enjoy the 'real thing'. Now that they're both in the thick of it, we are all enjoying the week to the fullest.

Lehr often leads a group of kids and I usually take photos and jump into his group when I can. This year though, he was heading up the music and then jumping in to help with a group. I was taking pictures, but of course I had an assistant that I carried around in the bjorn with me. She didn't prefer to stay the entire time, as bedtime snack and bed usually occurs before the end of VBX each night, but she was a trooper while she was there.

Maddux didn't have any of her usual friends in her group this year, but she still had a blast and (of course) made some new friends. Eli had his buddy, Logan, with him (they've been together every year), and Lehr got to help with his group, which they both loved.

Grandpa's Newest Angel

Grandpa Jim flew in for the weekend to drop the kids off and to meet Ruby. It didn't take long for her to wrap him around her tiny little finger. When you're only awake for about 30 minutes after feedings and before naps, it's hard to get any quality time in, but Grandpa managed to soak up every second he was able to while he was here, which she didn't mind at all!

The Rest of The Story

My original birth story for Ruby told of the picture-perfect labor and the amazing delivery. What it didn't tell was the overly emotional and gut-check kind of day we had after she arrived. I've started and stopped this chapter of the story more times than I can count. I've rewritten over and over because I worried it portrayed Lehr and I as not faithful enough, as weak, as naive, as ungrateful, as fragile...the list goes on. In the end, I realized that those things, those truths are what makes it the real story. So the nitty gritty is what I ended up with. I think our story still paints us in those lights, but I've come to realize that it's ok because that is the reality of the story. And even though I've thought about editing this post until it's grammatically correct, until it's all in the correct verb tense, until it's polished, that's not how it happened...nothing that went through my head, through my heart, those hospital days was polished. So here goes....the good, the bad, the ugly....

As imperfect as being induced three weeks early might sound, it actually was perfect. The midwife I saw the day before Ruby was born told me to go home, pack and head to the hospital that night because they'd start induction in the morning. That gave me time (without being distracted by actually being in labor) to get my kids taken care of, fly my mom in early, repack my bag, and drive calmly to the hospital with Lehr. Although I didn't sleep a lot, it also allowed for one full night of rest before labor started. And even then, once it was time to get things started, my midwife and labor nurse were incredibly receptive to everything I wanted to do (basically avoid all drugs, even the kind that help labor progress when you're inducing). With the help of my doula, I was able to keep things moving at the pace I chose, labor progressed quickly, but not *too* quickly, Lehr and I worked well together through the pain and we were presented with a beautiful baby girl at the end of it who nursed right away....so on and so forth down the road of exactly how I planned it. You don't hear about a picture perfect labor/delivery like that because it just doesn't happen very often.


When Ruby was born, I got to hold her for a long time while she nursed on and off. Then Lehr held her, then the doula, repeat repeat. Finally one of the baby nurses took her over to the bed-baker (it has a heat lamp on it, for crying out loud) where they cleaned her off a little, did a few preliminary checks, etc. In that time we found out her weight and were informed that they couldn't bathe her until her blood sugar was at a certain number (due to her being early). No problem. They stuck her heel and it was low, so they fed her some formula and tried again. Still a little too low, so they finished a few more things and wheeled her away to the nursery to clean her off without a sponge bath. Very standard so far. They assured me they'd bring her right back once I arrived in my next room.

My mom and the kids arrived minutes after they wheeled Ruby out of my room, so they hung out until a wheelchair was brought for me to be transported to my 'recovery' room. We all went upstairs and got settled in. Almost an hour later and still no Ruby, so Lehr walked my mom and the kids down the hall to peek in the nursery. They got to see her through the windows there, but that was as close as they could get. Almost another hour passed before I finally sent them all home. In that time they got to see Ruby through the glass three or four times, giving me reports of how cute she was, that she was sleeping, that all of the nurses were looking at her and checking up on her. In that time, those two-ish hours, I started to get nervous. Something was not right because if it was, she'd be back in the room with me. I think I told my mom to take the kids and go home several times before she finally did. I knew she and the kids really wanted to meet their baby sister, but my anxiety over why Ruby was still in the nursery was rising.

As it turned out, they left just in time. Not 30 minutes later a nurse came in, wheeling Ruby, and told me that they noticed a few things during their further exams (mainly 'floppiness' and hair falling out) that indicated neurological issues, so Ruby was going up to Transition (kind of like a stop-off to figure out if the NICU is needed or not) to be checked out by some doctors. She was very blase about it, but the word 'neurological' got my attention. I asked if Lehr could go with Ruby and the nurse said he could, but he'd be in the waiting room. Then she asked if I wanted to say 'good-bye' first. Another attention-grabber for me. I hugged my baby and kissed her before Lehr, calm, cool and collected, followed the bassinet out of my room.

Then I'm alone, hormones from giving birth not five hours prior surging, worrying about where Ruby is and what the doctors could be looking for. Trying to calm myself, I grabbed my camera and started flipping through the pictures Lehr and I took just after she was born. And then I saw it...just a hint of something, only noticeable in a few pictures. Not sure if I was really seeing something, not entirely sure of what the something was, I deleted a few of them, trying to tell myself that it was the camera angle or the bad hospital lighting. More time passed and now I have to, HAVE TO, see my baby. She has been away from me for over three hours except for her drive-by on the way to Transition. I need to hold her NOW. And I'm worried about how Ruby's eating also. I don't want them to give her any more formula so I page my nurse and ask for a pump. I produce enough to bottle and then ask if someone can take me up to Lehr and Ruby.

It takes forever to figure out where she is, but finally they wheel me up. Lehr is sitting in a small waiting room with a few others. On one wall are two doors and a few small windows. After I ask Lehr if he's heard anything, I walk over to the window and see her, peacefully lying in an exam bassinet, arms and legs stretched out. She is so small and so limp. I start to cry immediately. Lehr reassures me that everything is fine, but I know. I just know.

What seems like an hour later, but was probably only minutes later, someone gets us from the window and takes us through one of the doors. They bring us to Ruby and a doctor who spoke way too fast and without any warning or bedside manner. He informs us that our baby shows many of the signs of having Down syndrome, and immediately the room is spinning and I'm sobbing. Without taking a breath, he continues to talk.....something short and fast: "The chromosome tests won't be back for a week but I don't want to give you false hope that the diagnosis will change...Here's a book...Emory has a great clinic here in town...Do you have any questions?".

Now I'm shaking and crying, Lehr is shaking and asks the doctor if he can just give us a minute to process. Somehow there are chairs behind us now and we're sitting, crying, trying to comfort each other even though we can't comfort ourselves. My mind was going a million miles a minute. What did this mean for Ruby? Would she talk? Go to school? Have friends? What about our family? We have everything 'in place'...what would this diagnosis do to our organized chaos? Maybe they were wrong...the tests wouldn't be back for another week...what if they were mistaken in their original assessment? I can't do this....can we do this? Working with Eli's feet is already so taxing and this will be so much more...how can we possibly do this? How would the kids react? How would our family react? Will they know as soon as they see her? What if they don't...how do we tell them? What do we tell them?

Why? Please let it be something else...something I can fix. Something I can identify with. Something I can handle.

Why me? I was only 35 when I got pregnant...I know plenty of moms older than me and none of them have had to face this. Why me? Why her? Why us? The questions kept coming and I couldn't slow them down....

Remember how I said that I knew? Well that didn't matter, because hearing something you think you may have learned in the last hour, but was so unbelievably unexpected only a day before still hits you like a ton of bricks. It drops the floor of security out from under you faster than you can imagine. We were both blind sighted in a way so incomparable to anything we'd experienced before. I don't know how long we sat there reeling from the news, but finally they let me hold her and we showered her with tears and kisses. When I had Ruby in my arms, none of it mattered. She was so beautiful, so perfect...it seemed ridiculous that they were telling us anything was wrong.

Eventually they had us put her back in her bassinet; they told us to go back to our room and they'd bring her to us because she'd been checked out by the doctors and she didn't need to stay in Transition any longer. We took the elevator back to our room with stony faces, numb to everything around us.

We had barely set foot inside of the recovery room when there was a knock at the door. The OB on-call (the same one that had come in to say 'hi' just that morning as I started my labor) asked if he could come in and talk. I guess I said 'yes' because the next thing I know, he is sitting at the foot of my bed, saying all of the right things. He was extremely un-doctor-like (in a very awesome way) in his demeanor, tone, and personal attention. I can't remember any of the specific words he used, but he reassured us and calmed us, and even put us in contact with friends of his that had 'been there, done that'. And once he was done (which was probably not for another 30 minutes - he was that amazing!), they brought Ruby back to us. With that brought more tears, more confusion, more fear.

I fed Ruby and eventually sent her back to the nursery so I could get a little sleep. I was doubting everything at this time, especially my ability to care for a baby with such a big diagnosis. If she was in the nursery, even if only for a few hours, that's a few hours that I knew she'd be safe and watched over by a trained eye. I don't even know what to be watching for...

Lehr and I are both exhausted so we both try to sleep. All night, in and out of a few feedings, I toss and turn, waking up only to have grief and sadness wash over me again. I can't get away from it. But when I feed her, when I'm holding her, everything is fine. She is perfect. But I still study her face. In my state of fatigue and being emotionally beat-down, I try to convince myself again that maybe they're wrong. I can't always see 'it' in her face....wouldn't 'it' be more obvious? Wouldn't I be able to see 'it' all of the time? All I see when I look at her is Maddux and Eli. And Ruby.

But when they take her back to the nursery, I am left alone with the questions and fear. So much fear. I lie back down and try to sleep but my brain won't shut off...the questions, the scenarios, they keep coming. The noise in my head is deafening. What does this mean for the many friends of ours that are trying to have a baby? What does this mean for our kids? How will Ruby do in school? What if she can't make friends? How can I help her fit in when everyone will see something different about her when they meet her?

And then there is the really selfish stuff. The stuff that's hard to admit even crossed my mind.

I'd just gotten MY life in a good place with two side jobs that were my passion...what would I do now? *Just* be a mom? What about boot camp? What about my photography? I'd finally figured out how to be a mom and work without taking time/energy away from my family...what now? And what about Lehr and I? We just had an amazing year of being a couple, one full of us-time and dates and a few trips...was that all behind us now? Would we ever be able to leave for a weekend away again? Would it ever be 'Cole and Lehr' again?

I've never been one to put a lot of stock in recounts of people experiencing an actual physical presence of God, probably because I'd never experienced it myself. But I honestly had one of those moments during one of the noisiest times that night. I was lying on my side, trying to shut my brain off, trying to quiet the questions, trying to calm the fears and I felt hands gently cover my ears. It was one the most bizarre things I've ever felt, but it was definitely real. And with those hands came a quiet. A calmness. (BTW - That was just one of many God moments throughout our first 48-hours post-diagnosis...we had so many more!)

Finally the morning came and with it many more waves of tears. For a few moments when I first woke up, I hoped that someone would come in and tell me that they'd done further tests overnight and found out that they were wrong. But those were fleeting hopes because I knew. Just like I did before I really knew.

The kids and my mom planned to return in the morning, along with two friends we'd confided in via text the night before. I tried to prepare myself for that, but what I wasn't prepared for was the never-ending knocks at our door to take Ruby for tests. On top of that, because the kids and my mom didn't know anything yet, every time there was a knock, I'd have to try to shoo them out of the room out of fear they'd hear something from a doctor instead of us.

Tests, tests....heart, hearing, thyroid...the list seemed to go on. And with each test came a new set of fears. Most of those fears came from me not knowing what Down syndrome was, what it could mean, what it can affect. Ruby failed her hearing test. Another gut-check. I steeled myself for the follow-up test, telling myself that I enjoyed doing sign language with the other kids when they were younger...we could handle this. (The next day, she failed the follow-up. Again, I closed my eyes and powered through. Finally, she passed the final one. Only momentary relief because I know we'll have to follow-up once we get home.) Then, I think I held my breath the entire time she was out of our room getting her echo cardiogram with the cardiologist. But he came back to us with a clean report and at least one (HUGE) fear was quieted.

Ruby returned right behind the cardiologist and the kids and Grandma Cathie finally got to meet her. Joy. Pure joy. The kids absolutely loved her at first sight and were beside themselves with pride. You couldn't wipe the smile off of Eli's face if you tried...he was so in love with her! And Maddux could not have been a more doting big sister. Seeing Ruby through their eyes reminded me of how I was able to love her when she was first born, before I knew anything was different. How freely I loved her in those moments, without grief, without worry, without fear. Watching the kids hold her and kiss her and marvel at her was so needed in that moment!
The day continued with a few friends visiting and allowing us some sad tears but also there were plenty of joy. The day continued with many pictures of Ruby hanging out, a whole 24-hours old. The day continued with more tests, including another failed hearing test. The day continued with Ruby peeing on Lehr almost every time he changed her diaper. The day continued with a conversation with a couple in Texas who helped reassure us that it was going to be ok. The day continued with Ruby turning her head towards Lehr or I ever so slightly when we held her. The day continued with Ruby nursing really well and showing us that her oral muscles would not need immediate attention. The day continued with our daughter spending a lot of time awake and alert, her eyes searching mine, humbling me every time. The day continued with Ruby cementing herself in our hearts and in our family.

As lengthy as it is, I think that's a good place to end the birth story. However, in no way is that the end of the struggles for Ruby, the end of readjusting our expectations, the end of the fear. But the good news is, in no way is that the end of Ruby's story - her story is about so much more than just a diagnosis. About so much more than just a chromosome test. She will teach Lehr and I things that we couldn't possibly learn from anyone else, and she'll make Maddux and Eli the best siblings they could ever be, and she'll paint the world sunny. Of that, I have no doubt, and in that knowledge, I have no fear. I now know that Ruby is not what we expected; she is so much more.

One Month!

Big time. One WHOLE month old! Ruby had her one month doctor appointment today and weighs a whopping 7lbs 4oz. She's a regular size baby now! (Nevermind that she's a month old and most babies are that size or bigger at birth.) She's grown two inches in the last month too...at this rate we'll be into 0-3 month clothing soon.

No shots for the chunky monkey today, just a regular visit to confirm her health and weight. This was also our last visit with the infant specialist..next time we are with the regular pediatrician. All grows up.

It's Oh So Quiet

Wow...one little, tiny baby is easy! Not that those of you with more than one child didn't know that, but most of us don't get to experience 'just one' after siblings of our first-born arrive.

This week the kids are out west with Grandma and Grandpa. And their aunt and uncle. And five cousins. I don't think they miss us at all.

Lehr and I have enjoyed a very QUIET house and lots of one-on-one time with Ruby. I even managed to get a few photos of said quality time with Daddy and his newest best girl.

A Big Trip, A Big Step

Eli and Maddux got on a plane yesterday. Without me. Without Lehr. Grandma and Grandpa generously asked to take the two crazies out west for a week of fun with them and their five cousins and aunt and uncle. Wow. Such an opportunity, but such a big step for this Mommy. (They've never taken a road trip without us, let alone a plane trip!) Lehr dropped the two kids off at the airport with Grandma Cathie; they'll return next week with Grandpa Jim. As we packed them up and loaded the car, we told them how much we'd miss them. BOTH said, "Yeah, me too. But I'll miss Ruby SOOO much...can I kiss her good-bye again?" Nice.

Ruby's First Film

2013 06 Ruby from Nicole Eliason on Vimeo.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun!

Maddux's birthday party is often a random assortment of friends. Not that the kids that end up at her party (usually at the pool) are 'random', but the final guests in attendance are often a much different gathering than originally planned. If we intend to include neighborhood kids, we end up with church friends. If we intend on hosting girls her age, we end up with a co-ed party of all ages. And if we plan on friends from her Kindergarten class, as we did this year, we end up with three friends from three totally different areas of Maddux's life. I guess that's to be expected when your birthday is the day before a big summer travel holiday!


For her birthday this year, Maddux had been asking for months to take a few friends to SkyZone to jump on the trampolines. Just over a week before her birthday we invited a few of her friends from school, but only one would be able to make it. Not a problem; we invited a few more and were able to assemble three of Maddux's favorite girls for an afternoon party. Lehr drove around and picked all of the girls up (he insisted that it would be part of the fun) and took them all to jump on trampolines for about an hour. Then he brought them all back to our house where Ruby and I had stuff set up for ice cream sundaes. (Maddux does not like cake icing very much, so she chose ice cream as her birthday dessert instead.) The girls played on the back porch a bit and then Lehr drove them home.

Eli was in attendance also, as he loves to jump and Maddux loves Eli. I think he got a bit overwhelmed when the girls all broke out into song on the drive home, however.....

Six WHOLE Years!

Maddux, Maddux, Maddux....Your dad and I have told you over and over that you're not allowed to have any more birthdays! Six years old is OLD....where did my baby girl go?

Last night I asked you what your favorite moment of being five was and you told me, "I don't know....there were too many!" I feel the same. This year you started Kindergarten - 'real' school, played soccer, started playing the keyboard, proved to be a vital member of your swim team and became a big sister. "Too many" is right!

Last year at this time you had just finished your first season as a Somerset Shark. Even though you went to all of the 6U practices, you weren't allowed to compete because you wouldn't be of age until after the season finished. The pool was your playground all summer, and you proved to be an excellent swimmer. Just over a month later, you joined your brother and many friends on the big yellow school bus. Off to Kindergarten you went, and you made 24+ new friends. Your dad and I joke that you don't know any strangers, and between school and the neighborhood pool, I'd say that's about right! When we leave the pool each day, I hear so many kids saying "Bye, Maddux!", that I can't keep up. And as we walked through the halls at your school, either picking your brother up from an activity, or visiting for a school function, I'd hear more greetings to you and I would almost never recognize the child (often older) who was calling to you.

Last fall you played soccer for the first time and loved it. LOVED it. You were on an all-girls team and you really had a focus and edge to your playing. Each Saturday morning you were a force to be reckoned with, and you'd have a blast with your teammates, all the while. Unfortunately we had to play in a different league in the spring (co-ed) and we didn't have the same result. You seemed to have lost your love for the game, but your dad and I are confident you'll find your passion for it again.

For Christmas, Mommy and Daddy bought you a keyboard, upon your previous insistence that you wanted to learn to play. You've been taking lessons with Miss Brooklyn for about five months now and she maintains that you are progressing well. You have such a love for music, as evidenced by your singing in the bathroom minutes after you wake up each day....I have no doubt you'll add much color to a band one day soon!

And just last month, you became what I know God destined you to be: a big sister. I always tell people that you were already a big sister to Eli before Ruby was born, but now you are officially "Big". You love Ruby so much that I have to protect her from you sometimes :) She always turns her head towards you when you start talking to her, and seeing you kiss her little head melts my heart.

You are an amazing girl, Maddux. From your chipped-nail-polish toes up to your poorly self-cut bangs. We love you with all of our hearts!

First Bath

Ruby had her first bath last night. Of course the kids wanted to get in there with her, so we had them put on bathing suits while we filled up the big tub. Ruby's little bath 'bed' fit in between them, which meant she was not short on smothering. Ruby tolerated the water really well, even doing her very concentrated observing 'look-around' as soon as she entered the water. As excited as the kids were to play in the water with her, Eli and Maddux really did a good job of keeping calm and not splashing too much water on her.

Chunky Monkey!

Well, I can't quite call her that, but Ruby DID gain a whole lotta weight in the last 5 days! 10oz, to be exact, which works out to 2oz per day...the pediatrician's office joined me in a celebratory 'YES!' when we set her on the scale today. That puts her at 6 1/2lbs, and, per the Nurse Practitioner/Lactation Consultant, I can relax a little now! It's been a long two and a half weeks of making every single feeding count (which means I'm feeding her almost 12 hours of every 24...yikes!), but it's all worth it because she's less of a 'peanut' and more of 'peanut butter' now. (To keep things in perspective, she is still SMALLER than Maddux was at birth, and she was small too!)

Released!

If you've been following the saga of Eli's feet for the last year-ish, we have been working to fight off a relapse. Over the summer last year we saw some lack of dorsiflexion (i.e. his heels weren't always touching the ground when he walked) and followed up with the Orthopaedist twice and then ended up in PT with a strong possibility of recasting. Despite the therapist's desire to cast, we fought through with diligent home PT, weekly visits to her, night boots (similar to plantar faciitis treatment splints), chiropractic visits and managed to get a great response from his feet. At the beginning of the summer, we went back to our Ortho and he sided with us (non-casts) given the progress Eli was making, and after all of Eli's hard work, the therapist officially 'released' us today! She asked that we come back in 6-months to check in and make sure we are still seeing progress, but she commented that Eli has made more progress and gotten more flexibility in the shortest amount of time of all of the patients she's treated with feet like his. Woohoo!! Definitely a day of celebration!

Peanut Vs. Peanut Butter

This girl is giving me a run for my money already. Eli was born at a respectable weight and gained from there. Maddux was born small and had to go for one weight check, but they basically laughed at me when I went in the day after I left the hospital because she jumped up immediately to the 75%. Ruby, on the other hand, is determined to be a peanut.

She's eating great - she requires coaxing to eat some times, but in general, she does really well. And her diaper output (if you're a parent, you get it) is indicative that she is getting plenty at each feeding. Her weight, however, will not budge. She was born at 5lb 15oz. She was down to 5lb 10oz the day we left the hospital (very normal). Her first weight check found her still at her hospital exit weight, and her second weight check only found her up to 5lb 12oz.

I've been checked out by two lactation consultants a total of three times and they agree that everything is going fine, except for the scale. Tomorrow we go for yet another weight check and hopefully my little peanut has chunked up to more of a buttery stature.

Adjustment

So when you bring a new family member into the mix, adjustments are necessary and expected. Ruby's impact is very different than we anticipated however. Eli is adjusting well...VERY well. He is very, very protective of her, and he is amazingly loving towards her. In fact, he can't seem to go more than a few minutes without asking about her: Is Ruby eating ok? How did Ruby sleep? Does she need a clean diaper? It's really really cool to watch. Also, she seems to have had a calming affect on him. Since she's been home, he's not had any of outbursts we've come to expect from him, even when he's obviously frustrated.

Maddux, on the other hand, has demonstrated a heightened sense of 'crazy'. More impulsive, more 'bull in a china shop', more active. She loves her sister so much, but sometimes it's a little too rough and jumpy. And while she's getting some one-on-one with Grandma and some with Mommy and Daddy, she's definitely acting out a bit. It's less on days when I really plan out a chunk of time to pour into her, so that helps.

Both kids absolutely adore Ruby. They constantly ask to hold her and I can't put her down in a seat or on the play mat without them immediately swarming around her to smoother kisses and hugs. Life is good.

Big Brother

Wow. Eli is amazing. He keeps saying, "She's so cute!" "She smells so good." "She's so precious." anytime he interacts with Ruby. And he is beyond gentle and loving with her...I have yet to worry when he's holding her or leaning down to kiss her head. It's like he was born to be a big brother...which he already was, but this time is so different. He is a huge help with diapers and everything else.....he never refuses help I ask for, and he often volunteers to help. On an Eli-only note, he has been incredibly 'in control' since her arrival. Things have obviously been different, a little more stressed at times, probably a little more frustrating for the older kids. But Eli has yet to lose it, in the way he does, and he has definitely been tired/overwhelmed/etc. Long story short: he's had circumstances that would normally send him over the edge and he's stayed remarkably calm. Amazing.

More Maddux Funnies

With Grandma Cathie in town, the kids are 'treated' to more surprises than usual. One of those surprises was a stop at Target to pick out a toy while we were in the hospital. Maddux chose a Barbie Doll (oh, the horror) that came with a little dog. When she opened the dog, after we returned home, she was inspecting her new toys. I was nursing Ruby across the room, so she asked Grandma for help.

"The dog's name is written on the bottom...what does it say, Grandma?" My mom checked it out but the print was too small for her to read. She told Maddux that if she could spell it out loud, Grandma could tell her its name.

Maddux reads out, "C-H-I-N-A."

Grandma and I laugh out loud and then tell her it says "China". Maddux loves that and immediately starts calling the dog 'China', unfazed by the two of us cracking up.

Meeting Ruby

Eli and Maddux were so anxious to meet Ruby yesterday.....they missed her by minutes last night and were chomping at the bit to see her this morning. Even though they got to peek at her through the nursery glass before they left yesterday, it wasn't enough, understandably. This morning they showed up while she was still back with the doctors, but less than an hour of waiting later, in came Ruby and changed their lives forever. They were in awe and both so lovestruck. We let each of them hold her on the couch and they could not wipe the grin off of their faces. Eli said no less than a dozen times, "She's so CUTE!" and Maddux said "Awww" many times as well. These two are totally smitten and Ruby is one lucky little sister!

Ruby

Wow....what a crazy 24 hours! Last night I was admitted to the hospital and given Cervadil at 6PM. It did nothing in the way of contractions, but they wanted to 'prep' my body for 12 hours before they formally induced me. At 8AM, the midwife broke my water and contractions started, about every 3 minutes, but still very manageable. (Sidenote: my midwife was AMAZING and let my preferences override the 'order' for pitocin...she let me try it naturally first and in the end we didn't need the dreaded "P".)

At my appointment yesterday, I was 2cm, and at 8AM this morning I was 3-4cm. Once she broke my water I started doing laps around the hospital, walking, lunging (ish), squatting....you name it. I had to stay hooked up to antibiotics at noon for about an hour....I used that time to rest between contractions because I was worn out from the day's activities already. They were coming stronger, but slowing down between because I chose to lie down and rest a little. I was determined to keep things moving, partly because the awesome midwife and delivery nurse working with me were scheduled to leave at 3PM. We brought the contractions on again strong with some movement and at 1PM they were very intense and close together. That's when the real insane workout began. I was sweating, eyes closed the whole time, and things never really let up. Around 2-2:15PM, I was about out of energy and the midwife offered to check my progress, even though I was already feeling the urge to push, to confirm that it was time. Sure enough, I was at a 9 - go time. Many painful pushes later, Ruby came out and was bigger than we expected.

Baby girl weighed 5lb 15oz (they estimated 5lb 10oz), and was 18 1/4" long. She nursed almost right away - what a champ! We got to keep her with us for about an hour before they took her to the other side of the room to do a little more cleaning and measuring. That lasted about another 30 minutes and then it was time to take her to the nursery for more thorough everything. Unfortunately, Grandma Cathie and the kids missed her by about five minutes. She remained with the nurses for several hours, so the 'big' introduction will have to wait until tomorrow.

All mothers know this, but what an amazing experience and journey....nine months leading up to one of the most intensely emotional introductions possible. She's perfect and amazing and even though she's only been here a few hours, I feel like she's been part of our family forever.

Baby number three - another 'quick' labor, no pain meds, tremendous joy....

Here We Go Again

So I had my 35 week Midwife appointment two weeks ago. My belly was measuring small, so they did a quick ultrasound. Baby girl was fine and weighing 5lb 5oz, but they scheduled another ultrasound for two weeks later (today), to monitor her growth. This morning my belly was still measuring small and the ultrasound showed that she had only gained about 5oz. Sooooo they want me to come in tonight to be induced! This is very reminiscent of what happened when I was pregnant with Maddux, as I had to be induced for being 'small' then too. Grandma Cathie is flying in and will be here at midnight; Aunt Megan came over to stay with Eli and Maddux. Hold on, folks!!!

Bucket List

Just as we did last year, the first thing we did when school let out was make our Summer Bucket List. The kids loved it last summer, even though we barely made it through half of the list. This year we had many repeats and a few unfinished items from last year, along with some new ones (i.e. "Have Baby").

So far, in just over a week's time, we've checked off four items. Two of those got checked off today: 'Breakfast at West Egg' and 'Biking at the River'. The kids love the breakfast spot on the west side of town, so after swim team this morning, we drove over for brunch. Since it was the same time Lehr usually gets lunch, he even joined us - the kids LOVED that.

I already had the bikes packed in the car, so on the way home, we stopped at the river and rode about two miles. (I did not ride; I walked.) Eli and Maddux were awesome. Usually when we visit the 5K-ish loop, I let them ride ahead and check back with me from time to time as I run. This time, there would be no running, and given how close we are to my due date (and the heat!) I asked them to check back more frequently since I may have to turn back to the car at any time. They were awesome. They stuck together, got along, and checked back so often that I never went more than two minutes without seeing them or talking to them. Bucket List is getting shorter...

Swim Team

We LOVE Swim Team in our house. This is Eli's third year and Maddux's second, though this is the girl's first year really competing (last year she just got to practice with the team). We started practices the last two weeks of school, after school, and have since moved to mornings. Both kids love the pool, love the coaches, love their team (their friends) and love to swim. Last night was our third meet and both are doing very well again this year.

Eli is swimming in an older age group this year and that means he swims in 5 or 6 events each meet, as opposed to the 2 or 3 he swam in the past. He has really come to love the 100 Individual Medley, which is the one event he actually talked about in a dreading way all year. His butterfly, while not the fastest, has become an area where he seems to be growing quickly; it's really cool to see him find his niche out there. And he and his 3 other 7-8 year old boy teammates are becoming a great little close-knit group.

Maddux is doing really well also. Even though she will still be in the 6U group next summer too, she's already swimming at the top of her team in freestyle and backstroke. One of her friends on the team is definitely faster most of the time, but Maddux is right on her heels and they are leading the 6U girls, for sure. As far as social interactions go, it should come as no surprise that Maddux is getting along very well with her 6U team and the coaches (high school and college age), of course.

Swim Meet nights are very late, as Eli has to compete in one of the very last events, but so far we are loving them. Eli even sought out one of Maddux's events at our first official meet so he could cheer her on. When she came from behind in a relay to get her team ahead (and eventually finish first), he was crazy excited for her: "Maddux, you just BLEW by the other girl!" Of course, Maddux cheers Eli on too, when she's not too busy socializing, that is. We're already halfway through the season...it goes so quick!

Maddux Sayings

They never stop for her! In the last week, here are a few gems:

• For our first meet, I overheard the coaches telling Maddux's group what time to be back at the pool. Later, when I asked her to tell me arrival time(s) Maddux just said, "Mommy, I don't know! (in a panicked voice) You shoulda listened cuz I'm a forgetter." 
• While driving we saw a nice (old) car. I told the kids that it was in mint condition. Maddux asked what that meant and I told her "shiny and with no scratches or dents". She said, "Yeah it is..they must not have any kids."
• Maddux and I were trying to fill a small hole in the front yard...it seemed like the hole was never ending because of the amount of dirt we put in it. I asked her, "Where in the world do you think this hole goes to, because it's so deep?" She said very seriously, "Savannah".

Camping With Daddy

Lehr and the kids have been trying to find time to camp for a while now, but with school and sports' schedules, anytime during the school year is pretty off-limits. Fortunately, this last weekend had great weather and a 24-hours unscheduled window!


After church on Sunday, the three of them packed up, weighed their bags (Eli loved this part and remembered the weights of his and Maddux's bags through their whole trip), and set off for an overnight hike/camp on the Appalachian Trail. This spring, Lehr and a few friends hiked and camped along the same section for a few nights and Lehr discovered a great spot next to a waterfall that he wanted to bring the kids to. Since it was only about a mile away from the parking area, it was perfect for the kids.

Lehr said they had a blast the whole time. No swimming in the waterfall because the water was too cold, but they stayed busy with hiking, cooking, creating clean water, etc. They all slept great in one tent, and Lehr claims they even slept in until 8AM....wow!!

Angerrrr

Most people choose not to believe it, given Eli's near-permanent grin and happy personality, but when that boy gets frustrated, he has a bit of a hot temper. His anger has been an issue mostly since Kindergarten, but we have had at least a year where it's been in check. His first year of school brought about very frustrating days for him, so he often came home and lost it. We worked through that year and had a great first and most of second grade. However, over the last month or two, we've seen some of this anger come back out. We've seen most and more outbursts from him lately that we're pretty sure is related to some 'playground' stuff Eli has been working through. These fits always include him yelling, stomping, talking back (he seriously cannot NOT talk back and respond to what we say when he gets mad), and often throwing something or hitting a wall or table. It's very stereotypical 'out of control' stuff.

As expected, we do not have any answers as to how to 'fix' Eli. Not that I think we're expected to. We stay extremely calm (like crazy calm) when he gets out of sorts, and we've been sticking with the same consequence for some time. He's not getting better, but at least he's learning that we are not backing down and (hopefully) that we are here to support him with CALM love. (Sidenote about his consequence: he's told me on more than one occasion, "This isn't working, Mom....we should use another consequence." Sounds like a ringing endorsement to me!) His consequence always ends with him calming down and talking to us in a normal way with his usual sweetness. It's almost as if his body is taken over by the anger when he gets going, only to have "Eli" return when it's done.

I'm hoping that we'll see this behavior dissipate over the next few weeks. The change of environment and removal of what I suspect is bringing about his frustration has to help. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it!)

Summer's Here!!!

As great of a year as it's been, it was nice to enter 'summer mode' this morning. The kids got up around 7:30, which meant we had time to have pancakes before Swim Team practice. If that doesn't start your day off right, I don't know what does!

I had already prepped the kids that we had a few errands to run after practice, and they were in great spirits the whole morning. We got Maddux's hair cut, totally cleaned out my car, stopped at Publix and then wound up at home. The kids and I painted the last of the alphabet for the baby's room and then played outside a little before Lehr got home (early because of Memorial Day weekend). We decided to continue on with being outside by working on the garden and backyard. Each of the kids helped Lehr finish up some things on the garden boxes while I planted some various things around the yard. Then we all went to the pool for some family time. The weather was amazing today, but a little breezy for the pool, so we actually ended up only staying about an hour. Kids were tuckered out after dinner, which means our first day of summer was a success :)