Don't Hate The Playa; Hate The Game

Several prefaces attached to this post... First off, I'm in a rambling mood, so this could get lengthy. Secondly, I apologize if my topic or my point of view offends anyone or makes them feel bad in any way, but I am not apologizing for how I feel, nor the fact that I'm posting my feelings about this topic. That said, here we go....

I feel great. Seriously. Even though it's 3:15pm and both kids are up (when they both should be napping at least another 45 minutes), I am very very very happy. Life is good. Part of that feeling great has to do with my returning to 'normal' again. I feel strong, capable and back to my old self again. I have felt that way almost from the moment I had Maddux. I will not apologize for that. Nor will I apologize for fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes less than a week after giving birth both times. As Dana Carvey playing Bush Senior would say, "Not gonna do it." I am a very active person. I love to exercise because of how it makes me feel. I love knowing my body is strong. I love that my feet can carry me 30-miles for breast cancer research. I love that my legs can peddle up the mountains of Tahoe to give me an amazing view. I love that my arms can lift Eli up and down several times a day. My desire to work out and bike and hike has so much more to do with how it makes me feel than how it makes me look. I assure you it is not a vanity thing with me, nor am I obsessed with wearing a size two or looking like the celebs. My obsession is the runner's high I get from pushing myself, blah blah blah.... (I told you I was going to ramble.)

My point (and I do have one) in going on about the above is because I have recently felt 'under attack' for feeling so good. It's as though I should still be in bed complaining about being tired or sore. In the last two weeks, since having Maddux, I've had a few nay-sayers giving me the evil eye and/or speaking negatively of me because I might not look like what they'd expect me to look like so soon after having a baby. (Note: I am not speaking of the well-wishers who joked with me last week at church; I know their hearts were right. This negativity has been more from mere acquaintances and strangers.) I will never understand why some people feel the need to tear others down, publicly or in their minds, just to make themselves feel better. I know that when I am in a bad place emotionally, I tend to think more negatively of others, so maybe it's as simple as that. Knock others down to elevate yourself. Regardless, I feel good and I'm not going to apologize for it. I've worked hard to be in the shape I'm in, so I get frustrated when people talk ill of me, as if I've not earned it. (Wow...lots of "I"s in that paragraph. Maybe it's me who has the iSpeak and not Eli.)

Enough of that. I did not post this to brag in any way...quite the opposite. It seems though the 'haters' I've encountered should consider the 'game' in their life; what is causing their negative attitudes over someone else's joy? (BTW - I've re-written this post several times already because each time I re-read it, I worry it comes off as braggadocious. That's my own insecurity, I know.) I just had to get off my chest how I feel about the negative feedback that comes from what should be something to be celebrated. I just had a baby and I feel great about it. Period.