I have always felt that I truly enjoyed every moment of Eli's baby-hood. Since I was fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with him from the moment he was born, we spent a lot of one-on-one time, especially in the beginning. There aren't any milestone moments that I can think of that I missed, and I 'oohed' and 'aahed' over every coo and smile he had.
It's different this time around, of course. I am already seeing Maddux grow up and move out of stages and phases before I'm even able to recognize and dote over them. When there is already another child in the house, especially a toddler, it is quite difficult to spend any time with a baby unless s/he is being fed. And even then, the focus is on containing/entertaining the older one, not enjoying the moment of bonding. This really makes me sad. I know Maddux will not be lacking in the attention department because any attention she does not get from me she will surely get from Eli, but I am already mourning the missed moments. I remember nursing Eli and singing to him or talking to him for an hour or so as he ate and burped. I remember then putting him in the blue chair or on his stomach and staring at him while we 'talked' for 30 minutes or so before he went down for his nap. I remember occasionally rocking him to sleep in the early days. Unfortunately with Maddux all I remember is feeding her while I prepare Eli's breakfast and lunch. I remember putting Maddux on the boppy as soon as she finishes eating because I needed to play with Eli as I'd just spent 20 minutes 'focused' on his sister. I remember Maddux crying in her crib for ten minutes before I was even able to think about going to soothe her. I remember praying she'd sleep longer so I could have a few minutes to myself (rather than praying for her to wake up so I can spend time with her).
I am in awe of parents with more than one child, including those I know who have four (I can think of three families in this situation). Maybe it gets easier after two because the kids can entertain one another while the parent tends to the baby, but it still has to be hard. More than ever I'm realizing that there will never be another 'first' baby. Not that any children after that are not as fun or interesting, but you can never go back to that first experience....back when you didn't know any better. Back when you could stare at little toes for hours. Back when you could spend all afternoon just watching the baby nap.
I have no real way to end this post, other than to say to those of you who have yet to have your first child, cherish every moment, because you won't be able to, at least not in the same way, with your second. A prime example? I don't have any good pictures of Maddux that I haven't already posted to put with this entry....
3 comments:
It's the age. Eli still IS the baby and the person in his world that matters most. :-)
MMO starts soon, and you'll suddenly have mornings to coo over Maddux and *gasp* naptimes to concentration solely on Nicole!!
And let me tell you, if they're like my two, one day not too far off, Eli and Maddux will play together and entertain each other in such a way that you'll be begging both of them for a little hug here, or a snuggle there. It's wonderful to watch, but a little sad for Mommy as well.
Nicole, I hear you loud and clear. Your have taken the words right out of my mouth. It gets easier. Soon, Eli will be doting over Maddux & her little accomplishments with you!!
=) Traci
I am with you... ever since I gave birth and started going thru the trials of motherhood, I have been in awe of women who do this thing more than once. I am a fan of yours. You are brave for expanding your family and making the sacrifices that come with doing that. I think you can trust the above mothers that say it will get better, but I SO understand not wanting to miss any one on one time with your newborn. Maddux is beautiful... congratulations!
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