Ruff N Tuff

Ugh. That was today. Through and through. It started with Eli and his mood from the moment he woke up until just before baths tonight. Part of the problem was two doctor appointments in one day, but the insanity started before that, so not a good enough explanation for me.

First issue: both kids (Eli especially) decided today that rules and Mommy's word do not apply in public. This is a new belief, and one that took me by surprise this morning. We were at Dr. appointment #1 and it was taking a little longer than expected in the waiting room. Since it was a pediatric orthopedic office, there was a nice little play room for the kids to occupy themselves in. The issues started when my kids acted like they owned the place, powering through all toys, talking way too loudly, and giving off an intimidation vibe (IMO). At one point, Eli was on a moving toy and he rode right through a house that a little girl was playing with. And he just kinda looked at her, as if to say, "Move." At this point I pulled Eli out, reminding him that this was not his playroom and these were not his toys (and we don't act this way even in our house with our toys). I then told him that he needed to say, "Excuse me" if he accidentally runs into someone, but to be aware of his surroundings, as other kids were in the area. He gave me blank stares, wiggled out of my grip, squirmed and whined, and told me, "DON'T HOLD ME!" It was a classic case of child vs. mom to see who can put on the better show. Of course my hands were a little tied because the front desk kept calling me up to fill out MORE paper work or verify more information, and we had waited so long that I knew we'd be called back at any moment, so I didn't think pulling him out of the office or to the restrooms was a valid possibility. On top of that, I had Maddux with me too, so I had to keep an eye on her. In the end, he sat with me until we got called back. The visit itself was fine, behavior-wise, but Eli has to wear his shoes at night for another full year. That was a blow to me. Especially because the doctor noted that his achilles tendon is a bit tight. He walks fine and can flex very well for how tight it is, but the shoes need to stay to prevent relapse since things are still not as they should be. Not what we were expecting...

Home for lunch after that. The car ride was full of me reminding the kids how we behave in public. Then it was full of silence as Mommy needed some quiet time. Lunch was not great. The kids played well enough while I was preparing, but Eli's less-than-happy heart got him into trouble as we sat down to eat and the next fifteen minutes or so were spent disciplining. Many privileges were revoked and many minutes were spent in time out. Nap time came and we all got some much needed distance from each other.

I had to wake Eli and Maddux up from naps at 3PM for Maddie's appointment. (I needed to get her finger checked again.) Reminders about our behavior all of the time (especially in public) were discussed. Every one was happy and away we went. Both kids got the flu 'mist' and they did great with it. (A welcomed change from last week's shots.) Maddux's finger is healing just fine and the stitches will work their way out on their own. Once home from the doctor's office, things went high-low-high-low a bit. Nothing nearly as bad as earlier in the day, but at this point I had no patience left. Lehr convinced me to meet him at Willy's for dinner, so I packed the kids up and away we went. On the way, I called Lehr and told him that at the first sign of disobedience or lack of respect, Eli would be taking a trip out to the car with one of us. I really felt like somewhere along the way Eli got the idea that misbehavior in public was tolerated and I was determined to set the record straight ASAP. Fast forward to five minutes later when Eli started to whine and kick up about something insignificant. I looked at Lehr and said, "You or me?" He took Eli out immediately. Calmly. (Calm reactions are always our goal with the kids. We don't want them to get the 'reward' of causing Mommy or Daddy to get flustered and further engaged, and no good can come from us losing our cool during discipline.) The boys were outside for less than three minutes before they returned and Eli apologized to me. We went along with our dinner and all was good.

As we left, Lehr found a hand written note on a napkin under his windshield wiper. If my printer worked, I'd scan it for all to see the kindness of a stranger. For now, I'll just re-type it. Thank you, whoever you are. You helped remind Lehr and I that we are doing the right thing, even though yesterday felt like we had no clue what we were doing, given the results we were seeing.

I want to commend you on your "parenting skills" by taking your son out for whatever he did in Willy's. By taking him out and talking to him outside the restaurant, you showed him respect and also firmness and love that he won't understand for years to come. You must be a great father! Keep up the great work! Blessings to you and your family.