Once Upon a Random Thought

When we first found out about Eli's feet, we were caught completely off-guard. Even though I was born with a clubfoot, my parents were told it was not genetic, so the thought never entered my mind that the condition would be passed on to my child(ren). Thank God for the internet: we were able to find enough information about clubfoot treatment in the months before Eli was born to put our minds at ease about his chances at being 'normal'. The only thing that continued to bother me was how he might be viewed by outsiders: kids, parents, teachers, strangers... Thankfully, I've been asked a million questions about his condition, his casts, and his brace in the last nine months, but to-date, I've never been met with any obvious displays of horror or gawking. Maybe I'm just not looking, or maybe society is becoming more accepting of exceptions to the norm. Either way, I never look at Eli and see a handicapped, compromised, or special-needs child, even though I'm sure some doctors or teachers might place him in that category. (Unfortunately, this acceptance we've been met with is not always the case. I've connected with several moms who have been met with horrified stares and 'accusations' about their children's feet.)

So far the correction of Eli's feet has gone better than we could have imagined, and we have every right to think he will be just fine. However, you never know how this condition might affect him when he gets older. We don't know if he'll be able to have a career in track and field, or ice skating, or (take a deep breath, Lehr) dance. There are still plenty of unknowns, just as there are in every child's future. Regardless of all that, looking back, I don't think twice about how things have turned out. Though I would never wish anything but a carefree life for Eli, I don't think I would change his feet even if I could. (Hopefully, any resistance or struggle he meets as a result will make him stronger and more determined.) I associate Eli's bar (and casts) with him as my son; it's hard to imagine him without the foot-gear. In fact, when we were in Florida last week, he spent a lot of time out of the bar and it took a lot of getting used to on my part...I'm not accustomed to seeing his bare feet so much.

I am so lucky to share this blessing of a child with someone who feels the same way. Not only has Lehr been so supportive and strong through the entirety of Eli's 'foot-story', but it seems he and I are constantly on the same page. When planning our trip to Florida, we decided to try and get some sunset pictures on the beach with Eli, all dolled-up and in crisp white linen. The day before we were set to take the pictures, I started running through my check-list for necessities for the photo shoot. Camera, check. Tripod, check. Eli's white linen suit, check. Eli's shoes..... Faced with the question to take the pictures with or without the bar and shoes, I decided for myself that I really wanted the brace in the picture. Again, it's who Eli is, and I have a weird sense of pride about it. However, I figured it was only right to ask Lehr for his opinion also. He looked at me incredulously when I asked if the pictures should be with or without the bar and said "With the bar, of course." Few moments have I loved him more.....