As I was thinking about sleeping away from him for two whole nights I recalled the first night in the hospital after he was born. Eli was born at 8:28AM, so we had plenty of time to hang out before bedtime rolled around that night. At midnight Lehr and I decided to put Eli in the hospital nursery for two hours so we could get some sleep. We were both exhausted and I knew I wouldn't get any rest knowing no one was standing over Eli making sure he was still breathing. Ironically, as soon as Eli left the room I was unable to shut my eyes. I couldn't sleep knowing he was not with me, which was odd because looking back I don't think I really 'got it' yet (the love/bond thing). I think I dozed for a total of 20 minutes before I finally went and got him again at 2AM. So here I sit thinking about the upcoming weekend and wondering how I'll sleep knowing Eli and I are separated by many miles.
Ridiculous, I know. Random, I know. But as Lehr can tell you, my thoughts usually have about six degrees of separation. Sometimes (much to his *delight*) I ask him a random question or share an out-of-the-blue thought with him and then explain to him how I got there. For this random though the issue of sleeping away from Eli came to my mind as I was considering bringing some Tylenol PM to the hotel tomorrow night. I often have a hard time sleeping (no clue why), and I want to be sure to get enough rest for my walk. Then I started thinking about how I was going to sleep in general without Eli in the next room.... Random thought over (for now). I promise.
2 comments:
You are the image of fitness...very cool that you are doing the walk for breast cancer. I wear my pink bracelet everyday b/c I have a co-work who is going through a second round of chemo b /c she has breast cancer. She is a mother of two boys, age 5 and age 1.
If I had know, I would have donated money to you! Let me know when you need it again.
I hope you were able to sleep and did well in your walk! You are such a great mom!
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