Lately there have been so many good things surrounding him and the tween he's becoming: he volunteered to participate in shaving his head for St. Baldrick's, for his Target project he chose exclusion of special needs as something to research, he wanted to teach his class about World Down Syndrome Day. And there have been shining moments of maturity with Maddux (which is a rarity for him): recently they started watching a movie together that was a little too intense for her and he seemed to be trying to turn it off and help her calm down. And with Ruby, he is always so helpful, but recently it's obvious that he doesn't have any fear of social embarrassment about things if she's involved. We just attended an event for Songs for Kids and Eli was rushing onto the dance floor to dance with Ruby without a thought to who was watching.
But we are struggling in some areas that cannot be ignored. He is overly, over-the-top concerned if someone (mainly Maddux) is not following rules or isn't receiving consequences. I know it's typical for siblings to try to get each other in trouble, but it seriously ruins his day sometimes if he knows she's not being held as accountable as he thinks she should. This carries over into his work ethic: he will not lift a finger unless he sees someone else lift two, or at least when it comes to work benefiting someone besides himself. It is nearly impossible to get Eli to complete his responsibilities around the house, without nagging, unless that specific day it is tied to something he cares about.
And Eli's standard for others is WAY higher than his measuring stick for himself. Eli has an utter inability to take responsibility for anything he's done wrong. Add to that his lack of remorse over this actions that result in something negative... Recently he left Lehr's new glove at a baseball practice. When we realized it the next day and asked him where the glove was, he copped an attitude and seemed offended that we would be less than thrilled when discovering the glove was (hopefully still) at the field. The same thing goes when he is allowed to play at a friend's house and comes home 5 or 10 minutes late: he is mad at us that we started dinner without him or that he receives a consequence for his tardy return.
These may sound like small potatoes, or typical behaviors for a 10-year old, but when they rear their ugly head, it tends to take over our house, and the intensity of Eli's anger is loud and all encompassing. We are trying everything under the sun and hitting our heads against the wall, all at the same time.