The Note

It was planned to be a good day. It is my birthday so Lehr arranged a surprise baby-sitter for me all day. Eli had school for 3 hours, and Maddie and I planned to go to see my PCP while he was gone. Never a fun task, taking a 20-month old to a non-kid doctor's office. I was quite happy at the thought of asking questions and receiving information without having to chase after and entertain a child at the same time. After I picked Eli up, I was planning to visit with and photograph a brand new friend (4-days brand new!!). Once Lehr returned home, I was told the four of us had dinner reservations. These events still happened, but the mood was dampened by "The Note".

Eli was placed in my car with his bag, as usual, by a teacher other than his own. On the drive home, I went through his bag at the stoplights, looking over art work and reading any flyers from his school. There was a handwritten note from his teacher today. And not a complimentary one. I was informed that Eli has been a bit more 'physical' and 'active' with his classmates as of late. She then wrote that he had taken it as far as to kick (yes, K.I.C.K.) a child in his class. To make matters worse, instead of apologizing, he laughed. This is NOT the Eli I see at home. He is definitely a fan of wrestling and tackling, but it's all been done in fun. And the little bit of hitting issues we've had with Maddux have never been bad, nor recent.

I pulled the car over as soon as I read the note. I looked at Eli very seriously and told him he needed to start talking... He was immediately remorseful and seemingly ashamed. He knew exactly why I pulled the car to the side of the road. Eli told me who he kicked and we talked about how that made her feel. We had a good five minute conversation about why we don't do that (even if we're just playing around), and we went over again (and again) that it is VITAL to apologize if/when this situation presents itself.

At this point, I'm shocked. Not that he did this, because he is three and he is a boy and he is physical by nature. I'm shocked that it's escalated to him receiving multiple time outs at school. I'm shocked that he actually kicked someone (even though he assures me it wasn't because he was mad). I'm shocked that he didn't apologize. Mostly it made me sad all day. Part of it is the natural parental guilt/fear that I've done something wrong along the way for him to think that it is in any way OK to kick someone. The other part is that he obviously does not have the empathy at this point to put himself in his 'victim's' shoes. Yikes...too deep for a late birthday post. Good night!