Sunday, December 27, 2015

Weak Sauce

Isaiah 40:29  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

I've had a lot of moments today (and last night) that were not that. That were not strong. That were very weak. They were flat out bad moments. Moments where I just let go of positivity and wallowed in "this sucks". Moments where I let myself say,
"You know what, I'm sad that Ruby and I are back in the hospital.
I'm frustrated that we planned a fun, homemade dinner for family that we didn't get to participate in.
I hate that instead of spending today walking and riding and skateboarding and playing along the belt line, Ruby is going to be hooked up to blood and antibiotics.
And I'm mad mad mad that Lehr took off Monday from work specifically and intentionally so that we could have one, (just ONE in this season of non-existent 'us time') day without school or work or hospitals or anyone else but the five of us, and now it can't happen."
But I know that is a slippery slope, so while I let myself go there a few times in the last 24 hours, I always go back to the blessings:
  • Ruby didn't get sick on Christmas day.
  • Ruby was in generally good spirits during her highest fever (instead of the obvious discomfort she was in last time). 
  • Ruby got admitted to the ER very quickly, getting her out of the waiting room, which is oh-so important in this 7-10 day time frame that we've been protecting her from all indoor public areas due to no immune system. 
  • I got to take Maddux to her Christmas gift of the Nutcracker before Ruby's fever hit.
  • Ruby slept well through the night. 
  • Ruby has RSV, but isn't showing any need for oxygen or other respiratory support.
He does give us strength when we need it, and He does provide perspective to remind us of our many many blessings. I'm so grateful He gives us grace to have weak moments as well.

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