Fingernail Polish

So last week Eli asked to have his fingernails painted. Although he'd asked to have his toes painted a few times before, it was a rarity and he'd never expressed any interest in fingers. It was the day before we left for Jazz Fest, and Maddux wanted to have her toes 'spruced up' before we left. I took both kids to my bathroom to paint them. She chose 'black' (really dark blue). I asked Eli if he wanted it on his toes and he politely declined. By the time I finished her toes, Eli suggested I paint her fingers too, so she was 'pretty'. No prob. I asked Maddux which color she wanted and she said, 'black', but changed to pink for the second hand. Before I was done, Eli said, "I think i want some of that on my fingers too." It took me by surprise, but I have no problem with that. I did warn him that it would be on for a while, just like it was on his toes....I wanted to give him a chance to reconsider, given the temporary permanence (does that even make sense?) of the paint. He was sure. So I painted his fingers black and he loved it.

He wore that paint all through Jazz Fest and a day of school (almost a full week) before any remorse was shown. The second morning back to school Eli asked me to take it off on the way to school. I initially didn't think anything of it and said, "Sure, we'll do it after school." Then I realized he looked a little stressed and decided to inquire the reason for his desire to have it removed. He told him one of his friends at school didn't like it. Apparently he had told Eli, "No" when he saw Eli's nails. This is a friend that Eli idolizes and is quite a follower of. While I don't think this little boy is doing anything bad to Eli, my son's obsession with him is a problem because it squashes any independent thinking on Eli's part.

Ugh. So here I am, two minutes from dropping Eli off at school, forced to have a big talk about self-confidence, not putting stock in what others judgments are, and being your own person. No problem, right? I did my best to remind him that God made him special the way he was, and He made everyone differently for a reason. I also tried to drill into him that anyone who asks Eli to change himself for the sake of a friendship is no someone who values Eli as a person. Carpool line. Kisses and reassurances. He's out the door. Time to pray.

Eli asked once more, in passing for the nail polish to be removed, but we had another discussion about who wanted the polish removed (Eli or his friend), and it was left at that. It wasn't that I wanted to force him to be subjected to ridicule by any of his school friends, but I wanted to give him a somewhat safe place to learn how to stand up for his personal appearance choices.

Fast forward to today. Maddie wanted more polish on her fingers (the original manicure didn't even last the Jazz Fest weekend), so the three of us were in my bathroom again. Maddie asked for purple (I have a dark dark purple that is almost black, much like the blue). I showed it to her and she said, "No, LIGHT purple, please." So I pulled out a very pastel purple. Done. Before I even started, Eli asked for me to put some more on his nails too. This caught me by surprise again, but you know I wanted to support it! I told him he could and asked what color. He wanted the same one as Maddux. Well, if the kids were teasing him about black polish, I can't imagine Easter-egg lavender was going to be a better choice. I told him to wait until I did Mad Dog's nails, so he could see what it looked like first. He still asked for it. Ok...done. More prayer needed, I'm sure. We'll see what happens at school tomorrow!