Good, Good Day

Lehr and I drove separately to church due to conflicting schedules today, so after church, Eli rode with me to his baseball practice and Maddux stayed with Daddy for a meeting and to get a break from the fields. Most Sundays find us struggling to extract from Eli what was discussed in church, or what his memory verse was. He loves church, he loves C3 (the kids' ministry area he attends, complete with a worship band, basketball, video games, and a drama each week), and he loves God, but he does NOT love talking when he doesn't want to. Regardless of how we approach it, the fatigue, the hunger, and the mood get the better of Eli and he tends to shut down when either Lehr or I inquire about his morning.

Today was so different and I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I did so that I can do it again each week. Not only because of our discussion about church but because of our complete absorption in a conversation the whole time from church to baseball (about an hour). It was unprecedented!

I started off in the car asking about his verse. We've been working on verses at home so I asked if he learned a new one this morning. (They usually tackle one verse per month and this morning was the first Sunday of the month.) He couldn't remember it, so we moved on. When I asked about the 'sermon' topic, he couldn't remember. I dove right into the adult sermon. I told him how interesting and exciting it had been and then I just filled him in. I hadn't planned on doing that, but it just worked so I went with it.

Our sermon dealt with anger and how to deal with that in our lives, as believers. Since this is something we struggle with so much where Eli is concerned, I hoped to plant a few seeds in his head. Because I hadn't planned on delivering a sermon myself, much of what I said sounded like a retelling of the sermon to Lehr or a friend, with lots of, "Oh, and then...." and "but before that..." Eli seemed to track it all really well, which is amazing due to my poor attempts to recount things. We talked about how easy it is to get out of control when we are angry, and how getting out of control leads to bad consequences. I told him about a video we'd seen of some parents and coaches being out of control at kids' sports activities. There was even some, I informed him, that ended up fighting, physically. At this point he looked at me and said, "Mom, that's just crazy!" (Amen.) By the way, at this point I'm basically in shock over the level of participation in the conversation. Eli is SUCH the child that internalizes things and doesn't always participate, especially if the topic is scary or overwhelming or just not to his liking.

Towards the end, I was able to pull out of my poor memory a portion of James 1:19 from that morning: "....be quick to listen and slow to speak..." I then gave a scenario to Eli of the different outcomes rendered from the same situation handled in anger (quick speaking, no listening) versus grace (quick listening, slow to speak), using myself as the person in or out of control of my anger. Eli interacted with that part really well, which tells me he got it, even if only for the moment. It was awesome.

Once at our quick lunch destination the conversation changed to friends and what that relationship should look like. Eli brought up something that happened in C3 that showed less than friendly treatment of Eli by someone he counts as a friend. I reminded Eli that he was perfectly made by God to be treated with respect and kindness, and while he should love his friends gracefully, he should not surround himself with those who do not show that they value him or his friendship. We talked about how it feels to be on either side of his interaction that morning and to my relief he agreed that it was wrong what the other boy had done and he hoped he (Eli) never did the same to anyone else. This was really cool because of how Eli brought the incident up to me: it was without prompting or prodding of any sorts. PLEASE let this confiding be a trend that continues!!

Finally we talked baseball and the relationships on the field. Anyone who has been a part of sports has seen some kids who are better teammates than others. Unfortunately Eli has recently witnessed several examples of how to NOT be a team player. So far, he's done a good job of staying true to his character and I wanted to encourage him that he was on the right path. I also wanted to remind him that not everyone thinks the same way as our family, and while that's ok, we shouldn't change our values to follow others. I know how hard it is for me to swallow some of the choices other families make about handling things on and off of the field, and I'm sure it's even harder for Eli to wrap his little brain around any way other than what he has been taught.

Whew....that is a loooong retelling of a short hour. But it was a FULL hour, and I don't want to forget a second of my fully engaged, unplanned but intentional time with my sweet, keeps-his-thoughts-to-himself boy, so this post will be my reminder :)