And maybe it was just a few hours ago that I had both kids, baby and toddler, under my feet and in my arms all day to cherish and hug. Now they are away from me more hours than I'd like each day and I'm left wondering how I managed to stay home with them for this long, and now how will I manage to have them away from me for a chunk of the day, more days than not....
I often hear the question, "How do you stay home all day with your kids? What do you DO all day?" The brave ones admit that they honestly think it's all bon-bons and tv. I assure you, I have never eaten a bon-bon, and my kids view TV as a huge treat as it is not often on in our house, even though they're now 4 and 5 years old.
When you have kids at home with you, especially those under 4, your every moment is utilized and spoken-for. If you're not cleaning them, you're feeding them. If you're not feeding them, you're hugging them. If you're not hugging them, you're disciplining them. If you're not disciplining them, you're dressing them. If you're not dressing them, you're teaching them. If you're not teaching them, you're kissing them. If you're not kissing them, you're disciplining them (again). If you're not disciplining them, you're napping them. If you're not napping them, you're reading to them. If you're not reading to them, you're cooking for them. And if you're not cooking for them, you're trying to catch up on laundry, or a shower for yourself.
And I have loved every minute of it. Even when I've had a rough day, even when my patience has run thin, and even when I have 'the worst day', it is still something I would choose for our family, one million times over.
Before we decided to have kids, I swore up and down that if I ever did have kids, I would still work. I was too smart, too career-driven, too 'above it' to stay home and baby-sit all day.
Wow...how arrogant was I? Not only can I not imagine not being the main influence on my young children, I also can't imagine how I ever thought any differently. I am in no way perfect, but I am glad that I get to be the decision maker about what my kids eat, what is read to them, the toys they play with, the language used around them, the amount of love given to them every hour...
That may sound like I just want to control them; it's really not that. I just want to make sure that what they are being fed, literally, spiritually, educationally, is in-line with our family morals and beliefs.
And I love knowing that I was able to decide these many decisions for them their whole young life, both small decisions like reading to them 4-5 times a day when they were babies and big decisions like what style of discipline is used with them.
And thinking of all of those small moments that I could have missed if I'd not been home with them makes me cringe.
Back to the question, "But what do you DOOO all day? It must be a constant vacation....much easier than a job, anyway." While I do not view staying at home with my kids as a 'job', it is a responsibility, and it is hard work (even though I choose it over a 'job' every day). A typical summer day for us a few weeks ago looked like this:
- 4:30-7:00AM - Bootcamp for Mommy
- 7:30-8:00AM - Kids wake up - snuggle with Mommy while I finish bootcamp emails
- 8:00-8:45AM - Work with kids to do their responsibilities (get dressed, make bed, etc.)
- 9:00AM - Breakfast (a melt-down for Maddux results in a time-out)
- 9:30-10:30AM - 'Homework' - we do handwriting, math, reading, coloring 'work' when we can.
- 10:30AM - Load kids in the car to run to Target for lunchboxes. While we're there Eli sees a toy he wants, so we discuss cost, translate into quarters, and how he'll save for that. Math lesson done!
- 11:15AM - Dentist appointments for both kids
- 12:15PM - Home for individual reading time - 15 minutes
- 12:30PM - Lunch (Eli complains about his food to the point where he ends up being asked to empty most of the dishwasher for me to learn about appreciation for others caring and providing for him.)
- 1:30PM - Pool time. I work with Maddux on diving and Eli on flip-turns at the ends of the lanes. Two time-outs for Maddux for pulling on her brother while we're in the pool. Eli earns some reflective time sitting on the side with me when he decides to not share with his sister.
- 3:15PM - Home for 'room time'. Read a book to each of the kids in their room first. (Both kids in their room for 30-40 minutes to read, play quietly or nap.) I catch up on editing for nep.
- 4:15PM - The kids and I read books together on the couch. Eli reads every other page as we make our way through the stack. Maddux answers random comprehensive questions. Sometimes her answers are even correct.
- 5:15PM - Dinner prep. No clue what we had because most nights it's random as I don't plan well in this area. The kids usually help me a little or play in the back-yard/back porch where I can see them from the kitchen.
- 5:45PM - Kids grumble and argue over setting the table. Dinner is served. (Lehr is home at this point.)
- 6:15PM - Play outside - baseball, bikes, yard stuff...
- 7:15PM - Bathtime/shower time
- 7:40PM - Books
- 8:00PM - Lights out for the kids
- 9:30-10:00 PM - Collapse in a heap in my bed
And I love every minute of it. I don't wish the role of a SAHM on my worst enemy. But I do wish it on my best friend.
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