growing pains

oh adolescence. honestly, we had way more struggles with you in your younger years than we have had during these tween and early teen years, but that doesn't make this 'middle' stage easy. not for you and not for us. it's hard to balance new responsibilities and emerging independence and social changes and academic intensification and sports and music and and and... all the while, your parents just want to pour into you so many things because we see the time slipping away already, and that often feels like 'lecturing' to you. 

you've impressed us with your ability to balance school and everything else. seriously. you aren't perfect, but you're doing a really good job on that front without any hand-holding from us. (that doesn't mean we don't bug you with questions when we see an errant grade come through your test scores, but that's after the fact, and you really do balance it all out so that you still end up with exemplary overall grades.)

you show much maturity in the area of your music, always working to make it a priority in your schedule. even though you play so much at church and with your band, requiring one of us to drive you to and from practices and rehearsals many times a week to locations not near our house, you're usually pretty good about asking (rather than assuming we can work it into our schedule), and it's rare that you don't verbalize your appreciation for that aspect of it.

technology is not our favorite. not by a long shot. after three years, i think we are finally making peace with you having a (very locked down) school laptop at your disposal during the school year, but the addition of a (very locked down) phone in the last few months has been a return to uncharted territory for us. we are working through it, often with glimpses of good choices and emerging digital maturity from you, but definitely with additional heated discussions.

i love love love the moments (sometimes even days on end!) when we know and act like we are on the same team, sharing ideas and highs and lows...communicating calmly and with humility. it's a really cool thing, when your kid starts to really grow up and you can do more connecting than correcting.

then something interrupts that and i am reminded that we in fact are not above the typical teen and parent relationship. instead of working together, suddenly we are opposing forces again that cannot understand how the other could be working towards a goal so opposite of our own.

the butting of heads, when it happens... i'm still not a fan. so many times in the last three years i have seen areas of maturity in you that leave me in awe. maybe that's what makes it so unbearable for me when we don't see eye to eye. there is so much of me in you, and that's probably another big part of the problem. i've still got lots of room to grow and mature myself, but when your words and behavior remind me of my errant ways of the past, it's a bitter pill. 

the good news is, we don't have to have it figured out today, or even tomorrow. but while we figure it out, let's wear the same color jersey, ok? i really like being on your team.

Just Another ER Visit

It should be more jarring for me to hear the pediatrician to leave her office and head straight to the ER. It's weird that those words don't alarm me too much, isn't it? Obviously Ruby is on mission to keep us familiar enough with medical 'stuff' that it doesn't phase us.

Last week found Ruby under the weather. Aside from two quick fevers at the beginning, she was presenting the same thing the rest of Atlanta was experiencing: pollen-induced yuck in the way of coughing, runny nose/sneezing, and red-eyed run-down-ness. I took her to the pediatrician on Monday, and she didn't test positive for anything, so we figured *just* a virus.

So our spring break was spent mostly hanging at home, trying to recoup and not overexpose. Through the week Ruby seemed to get better, coughing only a little at night and perking up in general. Then, over this last weekend, she was up with coughing fits through the night, even though she acted fine during the day. Monday morning came, and we did a breathing treatment (as we had been doing throughout the last week, to help with the coughing) in preparation to return to school, but Ruby just couldn't seem to rally.

So I packed Ruby up in the car and headed back to the doctor instead. Once we were called back, the nurse immediately pulled out the pulse-ox meter because of how lethargic Ruby was acting. It was low, even though she'd just done a breathing treatment. They decided to give her another type of treatment, to see if that helped. Once the mask hit her face, she perked up a little, but even after 15-20 minutes of it, her numbers hadn't budged. The doctor checked her out probably three different times through all of this, listening to her chest, her cough, her breathing so many times. In the end, she couldn't get any consistent sounds from her, so she told us to head to the hospital - she would call them so they'd be ready for us.

And they were; when we checked in, Ruby was called right back and they had oxygen ready for her. We stayed in the ER exam room for a little bit and then went back for a chest X-ray, which confirmed pneumonia. From there, they started IV antibiotics and an hour long breathing treatment, to see how much that affected the numbers. They didn't move, so Ruby was admitted to the hospital. The oxygen had to stay under her nose throughout the day and night, which was quite the challenge...she did NOT like that. Also, putting the IV in her hand was harder than I thought it would be. The first nurse that tried did not have good luck on either hand and Ruby cried in pain the whole time. (I didn't like that at all!) Another nurse got the line in quickly, but my girl was wide-eyed with fear by that point.

It was 6PM by the time we got to Ruby's room, so I ordered her some dinner right away. She ate it very quickly and then snuggled in with me and dozed off...it had been a long day. Of course, she still had to do breathing treatments and antibiotics every four hours, so around 8AM, she was woken up by me holding a breathing treatment mask over her face (she still had her oxygen nose thing too)....yet another traumatic experience for my girl. Thankfully it was short-only about a five minute treatment, and Daddy walked in to trade places with me very shortly after. (Daddy always makes things better.)

The next morning I returned around 9AM to find that they'd already taken more blood to test and compare against her initial draw. Also, her oxygen had been removed! A few hours later the team declared that her blood showed remarkable improvement, and assuming she held her passable pulse-ox levels for another few hours without receiving oxygen, she would be able to leave. The doctor that saw us in the ER commented on his surprise in delivering that news because based on how she presented the day before, he thought she would be there for at least three days.

As it always does, the discharge process took very long and it was dinnertime before we actually got home. But Ruby perked up at the sight of her home and her people, and was oh-so happy to sleep in her own bed. She has been way more cuddly and clingy to me than usual...this bout of illness has definitely shaken her a bit.

Unfortunately, she has still not returned to school. The doctor's released Ruby to return as soon as she felt up to it, which we assumed would be Wednesday, based on her afternoon and night Tuesday. However, she was very fatigued upon getting up, and actually went back to bed for a full hour after a quick bite to eat. So we are in a holding pattern - fatigue is real and it comes on quickly. In the meantime, we are doing breathing treatments and antibiotics and hoping for Ruby's stamina to return.

cuddles

i am not a cuddly person. i'm not the hugger in the group. but you are the opposite. you are so physically affectionate. especially these last two weeks while you've been so sick, you seek hugs and kisses and cuddles. and, in spite of myself, i love it.

i can't help but steal nuzzles in your soft neck. i pull you in tight as i dry your hair after your bath. i linger in your bed after we read bedtime stories so that i can soak in the closeness to you for just a few more minutes. you bring out the best in people, ruby. we are the lucky few because of you.

fruition

there are two big things i've very intentionally prayed for you for a few years now. one of those is for you to find a passion. a sport, a hobby, something that pulls at your heart...anything that makes you feel connected and challenged and competent. it has been hard, probably harder for you because i am constantly 'bugging' you about signing up for the school play or for a rec league of a sport. i have been relentless in my attempts to help you find something. and while you have shown me in your awesome desire to work with kids at church that you do indeed have a passion, and a great one at that, i still prayed that you would find something that would help you connect at school or with your peers.

after a few attempts to join sports that required a tryout, i was worried you might meet the same unsatisfying fate with soccer. even though you've played through the years, it's been with a passing commitment to a rec league that meets once a week. (in other words: no guarantee that you could make a competitive team.) but you were awarded a spot on the team, likely to attend practice but sit the bench during games, which is not uncommon for an 'underclassman'.

oh, but Maddux....last week you had four games and you played in three of them. not because the team was short on players (we usually have 6-8 on the bench), but because your coaches gave you a chance. first it was just for a few minutes, but one of the games found you in for almost half of the game. and how you brightened the field. your smile was so big, and it brought you so much joy...

you still have a long way to go to become the leading player in terms of skill level, but so what - you have the time. the connections you are making with your teammates, and the experience you are gaining with coaches that seem to make very smart choices with their players is exactly what I've been praying for. aatching you interact with the other 6th grade girls (and a few older ones), and seeing you encourage and build up those around you, all the while, learning how to push yourself in this sport has been so amazing to watch!

slow down

 you are so beautiful that sometimes i can't stand it. you are growing up fast, and i find myself amazed at how 'big' you are and how grown up your little face looks these days.

hoodies

hoodie zippers elude her little fingers. she loves them, but they are hard.

usually if I get them started, she's good to go.

 and if her clothing has pockets, her hands will seek them out, because who doesn't love pockets.

generous

your heart is more than generous, it is open and giving and receiving. especially for her. there is not a day that goes by where you don't allow yourself to get sucked into whatever ruby is doing or wants to be doing. you will pretend to be a dog, or help her create a meal in her kitchen, or dress up and play hide-and-seek. and it's not just the fun stuff...you will take her to the bathroom or help her take a bath or clean up a mess. your love really knows no limits when it comes to your sister. no matter what you are doing, you will almost always ditch it to hang out with her instead.

you rush home from your game to help her get ready for a dance, you take a leave from a 'big kid' project and entertain/take care of her on a whim, you ask for things for her because you know you loved them when you were her age (movies, painted nails, experiences). you never scroll through my photos without stopping to 'oooh' and 'ahhh' at the ones with ruby in them. if you take 10 pictures or videos, more than half will contain her. when the two of you are in the backseat together, you're most often right up next to her instead sitting with a seat buffer.

her adoration for you is evidenced in the way she lights up when you enter the room. she always wants maddux, she always asks when you'll be home. what you have given her in the way of unconditional love allows her to know that you are a safe place and she can come to you for anything from entertainment to a scraped knee. you are the epitome of #bigsistergoals.

"by self"

as time-consuming as those words are, they are music to my ears. because we didn't know if or when or how you would be able to communicate with us. because there are so many things that are still out of your ability to reach. because those words remind me of how determined you are. shoes are something you first succeeded at hundreds of days ago, yet they still stump you sometimes. today you found these shoes in your closet and set out to put them on and fasten the velcro, again and again, as if to keep proving to yourself that you could do it "by self".

rainy afternoon

everyday we pass the minutes, just you and i. when we don't have therapy or driving to do for your siblings, we cling to the house and yard so that we can breathe, and most of those inside minutes are spent here, in the kitchen. you love to help me, cutting vegetables or emptying the dishwasher or mixing the ingredients. always you pull in the chipped black chair. always you wear those red Elmo shoes.

futball

oh the hours. how many did you spend on the baseball field only to come home and throw or catch or hit until we made you stop. how much time and energy and love did you put into that game, both as a player and a fan. and while i loved baseball before you came along, i REALLY loved baseball when it involved you, even though the practices were long and many, and the games were long and many, and our lives were simply the moments between driving to and from the field.

when you switched to soccer a few years ago, it broke my heart. it seemed like you started to see something that you hadn't seen before. it seemed like you doubted your ability. it seemed like you noticed a gap between your skills and those of the other players. (mama bears don't like those kind of feelings, fyi.) so i mourned the absence of baseball, mostly because you had such a driving passion for it and i really really loved watching that in you, and i was afraid you might not have that for another sport.

but here we are, three years later, and you are still loving soccer. this last year has found you making the school team and playing on a more schedule-demanding club team. and while the kids are still bigger than you, as they often are in every area of your life, you have something real to add to the team. your many practices each week - often two each day to cover both teams - is showing up on the field in the way you work with your teammates in this dance that is not choreographed, but still so fluid. i think you know you're not the best player on the field, but you carry yourself as though you know that you have a lot to offer the team. you walk with confidence. and mama bears DO like those kinds of feelings.

little victories

much more of a marathon than a sprint. potty training has been taken to a whole new stratosphere with you. it is my most despised parental duty, probably because i don't think i can honestly do anything to will someone to notice a biological need. with your brother and sister, it wasn't fun, but it was quick. with you, we worked tirelessly for over a year, seriously worked, before it started to click. and even though now that you are trained, and now we are done, we know we are not really done. in the back of our minds there is still the knowledge that anything from a virus to an extra fun day in a new environment can throw you off and we will have an accident on our hands. months will pass and try to make us forget, but we don't. so today, when you excused yourself, and successfully did your business solo as you do all of the time now, i silently thanked God, reminded myself that many of your peers' parents don't have the most-of-the-time luxury that i am currently witnessing, and reveled in how far you've come.

Not Invited

For the last few weeks I've been trying to work more on my photography, which usually means looking at countless images, trying to take note of how they make me feel and what about them makes me want more. In the process I came across an a British photographer that has such a perfectly simple style...I poured through so many photos of hers and then I saw some of her youngest daughter. I thought, but wasn't sure, that she also had an extra chromosome. Of course I dug deeper and confirmed, and in the process found a collection of work she took of her daughter, Alice. Beautiful. Simple. Real. She titled one photo "Not Invited" and I can't stop thinking about it.

How many times in Ruby's life will she be 'not invited'? How many times has she already been 'not invited'?

How about when she was born?

I can't change it, but my initial reaction was definitely one of such disbelief because a baby with Down syndrome was not invited to be part of my story.

The emotions that come along with knowing my then feelings, and even (if I'm honest) my sometimes-when-I'm-scared-and-frustrated-and-overwhelmed-thank-god-it-passes-quickly now feelings are hard and confusing to say the least.

This concept of 'not invited' is hitting home very hard right now, mostly because of school. It's hard, y'all. I don't know the solution. I don't know if there is a perfect answer. But even assuming the best of intentions by everyone in every school situation that is to come, all of the extra work that goes into it makes me feel like Ruby is 'not invited'.

Back to her birth, Eli and Maddux immediately invited her into their hearts and lives. But as siblings often do, they squabble now. And I worry about her being 'not invited' during moments of their lives that might a little -too much- with her involved.

And probably mostly because of me and my fears of drawing negative attention to Ruby, but going out to do most things (like dinner out, a park visit, the grocery store, a doctor's office) often brings feelings of being 'not invited'. Because my girl is handsy. Because my girl is impulsive. Because my girl is curious. (All of those things could be because my girl is five.) It's sometimes feels like showing up to a china shop with an energetic dog - not invited.

On the nights when I lie for too many hours in bed, mind racing, often those thoughts are of Ruby and her future. Of course I worry think about middle and high school. Will she participate in school activities? Will she be accepted by some of her peers? Of course I worry think about college and her young adult life. Will she have independence? Will she have a job that gives her a feeling of purpose? When I allow myself to go to her mid-life, when Lehr and I are hopefully old and retired, I wonder more about her invitation status without us. That's a lot to think about when your child is barely in school...

This has nothing to do with the amazing friends around us. They go out of their way to make sure Ruby is invited. I think this feeling is more of 'not invited' in this world as a whole. The termination rate is sky-high for babies with Down syndrome, even in the United States. That's the ultimate sign of not being invited, isn't it? And yet here she is, possibly evoking feelings of 'I'd rather not' in those around her. So Ruby's very existence is one usually not sought after, let alone invited. (Are we in that dark place yet?)

Sorry guys, just a little melancholy about the invite list these days.

Soccer Days

Eli is still on his year round 'travel' soccer team through our local soccer club. While he is enjoying it, the season started very rough last fall with more practice cancellations than not, eventually leading to a change in our coach (who we never really got a chance to know anyway). A few roster changes occurred late in the fall as well...all of this has unfortunately led us to being in the height of the season without any momentum or sense of 'team' for the boys. So when school soccer tryouts came around, we were ready.

Eli was on the team last year, so it was assumed he would make it again. The school ended up not cutting anyone; there is actually an overabundance of spring sports available this year, so the kids have all spread out evenly on the teams. Even though a few of our boys are new to the sport, they had a great showing in their first game last week. Nevermind the score, they were really 'beautiful' to watch on the field: passing, communicating, supporting. It was really really cool, especially given our other team at the moment. I reminded Eli this week that both teams have a lot of talent - his travel team probably has more. But individual talent is trumped by overall teamwork every time.

Another really cool thing (for me) to see at the game is something I've seen a little in other areas as well: Eli is dipping a toe in leadership. He was shouting out to his teammates during the game, as they were taking their positions, even on the sidelines when he would sub out for a minute. That shows ownership to me, and I like that (on the cusp of freshman year, no less!) Eli feels confident enough to 'own' his team.

my funny valentine

since the kids were little, we've had dating and marriage conversations from time to time. from an early age we threw out the age of 17 as a good age to be when dating would be an option. (when she was younger, maddux would correctly tell you why: 'because dating is for getting ready for marry-ing, and you can't marry until you're 18.')

as eli and maddux approached middle school, we made those conversations a little more frequent, at least with maddux. (eli seems to be skirting the whole 'girls are cool' scene for now.) she didn't show much of an interest in chasing boys , but we know these things sneak up on you.

this first middle school year found a few of her friends diving head first into 'romantic' relationships. talks of dating and 'liking' boys came up in her circle. we continued to pour 'wait' counsel into her, reminding her that the opportunity to learn from watching her peers would be valuable in the long run, and that shifting her great male friendships into 'something more' often complicates things at this age.

we were chugging along fine until this month. i don't remember how exactly what triggered it, but i knew to ask a few intentional questions today. without much probing, maddux divulged that a (boy) friend of hers had asked her to be his valentine. he did so in a note, but they talked when she gave him her answer. i asked her what that meant and i think we landed on that meaning they were boyfriend and girlfriend. she cautiously walked through the sequence of events with me, likely waiting for me to disapprove. thankfully God was reminding me the whole time to use this opportunity to build trust and bonding...i think i might have not messed it up this time!

the first thing i did was celebrate with my girl, who was obviously excited. i also told her how happy i was that the way the boy asked her and the follow up conversation was so appropriate and intentional. (he asked her himself, in a very sweet note and then they talked in person, rather than being asked through a friend or in a text message.) she even showed me the note at this point (which was proof to me that i was on the right track).

somewhere in there she did tell me she thought i'd be mad because she's not 17 yet. i reminded her that while she and this boy have decided to label their relationship something different than it was prior, they were not 'dating'. (and then i asked her to tell me what dating is: the boy picking you up in a car and paying for your joint activity, AFTER he comes to the house and meets your family.) then i went on to tell her that while her dad and i can obviously influence what she's allowed to do, no one can control her feelings. so her 'liking' someone is a very natural thing and something that she will have to decide how to respond to when it happens. and of course i threw in there that i hope she'll come to me to talk about relationships, like she did this time.

she was so receptive to me, and so sharing with her experience and joy... it was unlike any other conversation we've had surrounding such a big issue or milestone. i was (AM!) so grateful that i was able to keep things in perspective and recognize the opportunity to connect with maddux. (thank you, God!) this is likely a life event she'll always remember, and it feels like she will remember my reaction to it in a good way. you would think this reminder to slow down and really listen to my kids would keep me from pushing them away with my parental 'guidance' in the future...but i'm sure i'll return to my usual ways the next go-round. in the meantime, i'm basking in the awesomeness of today.

Father-Daughter Dance

I'm not sure how it happened, but Ruby suddenly became old enough to attend the school's Father-Daughter dance!

She was so excited to get dressed up and take her Daddy on a date. I don't think she had any idea what it was they were going to before they arrived, but she knew it was a big deal. Maddux and I got her dressed in the only fancy dress she has right now (which was Maddux's for the same dance, many years ago), and then I worked on her hair.

Maddux, of course, wanted to share some make-up with her. She told Ruby, "Close your eyes."
We were running a little late because Ruby and Lehr had just come home from a birthday party, but we still managed to grab a few photos of the two of them before they drove away.

Lehr said a friend found Ruby and pulled her onto the dance floor (be still, my heart), and Ruby was all-in the whole time. She found more friends, danced to her favorite songs, took a few photos with Daddy, and lasted about 45 minutes before leaving to come to Maddux's basketball game.

No-Snow Day

Every year since Eli and Maddux have started school, we've had at least one snow or ice day, usually in January. The past few years, the county has definitely been quick to cancel school if there is a real threat of the snow coming on too quickly during school hours. (Thanks, Snowmageddon 2014!) In those same years, Lehr has kept a close eye on the forecast just northeast of us so that he can take the kids for a quick ski day in North Carolina. This year, the two events lined up together.

A snowstorm (an Atlanta snowstorm) was due to hit us yesterday around 10AM, providing a few hours of snow followed by about 24 hours of below freezing temperatures. We all predicted the day off of school for today (due to all of the snow being frozen on the roads), but it was anyone's guess what they would do about the day the snow was actually coming. Out of an 'abundance of caution' (the most common words used to describe their snow decisions in the last few years), Cobb decided at noon on Monday to cancel school for Tuesday. So Lehr decided to pack up the kids and their snow gear after Maddux's basketball game and head out before the snow hit the roads. Because he's the amazing dad he is, he invited 4 other kids to go with them. Two of the kids went (one friend each for Eli and Maddux). They had a great time, piling into a motel room for about seven hours of sleep before carbing up with a pancake breakfast. They skiied all day, enjoying awesome fluffy snow continuously refreshing the trails for them. After grabbing some dinner, they drove back to Atlanta.

Ruby and I stayed here and enjoyed about 90-seconds of a flurry in the sky, followed by sun and very mild temperatures (maybe 42?). The kids all returned to school today.

Wrestling Championship

Eli's introductory season of wrestling culminated in a Metro 10 Championship yesterday. He ended up wrestling four (or five?) times, and it was pretty much the perfect end for Eli.

All season long, he's been learning new moves, but had only had one win (meaning he scored more points than his opponent and didn't get pinned before the time ran out). But on Saturday, Eli's extra practices over the holiday break proved to be that extra push he needed. His first match was a bye, so it was mid-morning before he finally got on the mat. The opponent was a good wrestler, and held his points higher than Eli throughout, but Eli stayed mentally in the game and didn't get pinned until the final 10 seconds. (There are three rounds, totaling four minutes: 2 min, 1 min, 1 min. It is exhausting.)

This is when I knew something was different. Those rounds were tough; Eli was in a choke hold a lot and he had his shoulder in a less-than-great position a lot. A LOT. (Immediately afterward he told me he seriously worried it was out of socket.) This scenario is one that typically results in Eli anger (out of frustration and pain, no doubt) and some playing the victim. Eli didn't do that. During the match he visibly listened to his coaches instructions. Afterward, he pulled himself together pretty quickly and immediately went to cheer on his teammates. That's another thing that was new. Eli is definitely one to clap for or feel happy for his friends, but he was actively seeking their matches out and loudly cheering them individually in a way I've not seen him do before. Already, my day was made.

Then Eli had a match to determine if he would advance to the top four. My phone was dead, so I have NO video to show, but Eli pinned his man. He PINNED him! He was so excited. I was so excited....it was amazing! From there, he wrestled for 3rd place and won....it was a long match that went down to points (so the full four minutes), but Eli had the points, so he won! Here's where it got even more interesting - since he'd not yet wrestled the guy who was in 2nd place, Eli could challenge him to take his position. This was a kid Eli had wrestled once or twice through the season already, and the two of them chatted it up off the mat, so I already had the warm and fuzzies. (Eli is a little too adversarial for my taste sometimes.) They had a great match, and Eli came out on top, having pinned him. And when I asked him to offer the kid an additional handshake and word of encouragement after all was said and done, he didn't fight me at all.

Seriously. The humility. The joy of competing. The team-player attitude. The determination. There was such a shift in him, in such a positive way, yesterday, and it was so awesome to see. I can't even complain about being at the gym for twelve hours (630-630) because it gave me the best front-row seat ever. And for him to be rewarded with the wins and the pins...icing on the cake. Eli and another team mate both ended up with some hardware for finishing 2nd in their weight classes, and the team had a tremendous showing, especially for this being the school's first full season of wrestling.

Maddux's Heart for Service

I honestly wonder how many times I've blogged about this... I do know that whatever the number, it pales in comparison to the amount of times I take note of it, which is likely a fraction of the number of examples in each day. I know this sounds braggy, but for the oh so many times I get it wrong, especially with Maddux, by pointing out the ways she doesn't do what I think she should do with her time and energy, I want to be sure and document how much right I see in her heart.

I have to remind myself that what I think I want for her might not line up with what God has planned for her.

My girl...she loves, she loves kids, she loves serving kids. Since leaving Kids' Ministry, as a participant, last May, she has probably only attending the 'big' service with us 2 or 3 times, one of those being the Sunday that she was baptized. Every week she volunteers in the Preschool Ministry, willingly. She is now a volunteer that gets signed up about once/month, but whether signed up or not, Maddux reports to the coordinator when we arrive each Sunday and she has never been turned away.

It's not just that she volunteers though. Anyone can do that...even I even do that. But my heart is not in it even half as much as Maddux's is. She loves working with those kids, and not just the fun parts. She will crawl on the ground to pick up goldfish, usher kids to the restroom, pick up mini crayon bits off of the table again and again and again...none of it phases her. I've seen her patiently cutting out a craft for the kids, while carrying on a conversation with one kid to her side, while another sits on her lap, hugging her for comfort. All the while, she is calm as a cucumber and so in her element. And she seeks out the ones who need the most, whether it's manifesting in tears or acting out, she's usually right on it.
I want to be her when I grow up.

About once a month I am approached by an adult at church that works with her for the first time, or maybe just talks to me about it for the first time, and they 'just have to tell' me how awesome she is or what a good worker she is or how great she is with the kids. Sometimes they'll ask me what I did to help her be so great. This is the part where I seriously laugh out loud because I had nothing to do with it. Seriously - she is the nurturer I never was (even at my best). This is all God, growing her gift for nurturing and serving, and it brings me so so SO much joy to be able to watch.

Christmas

It was the first year that it's been just us at our house in probably forever. It was quieter but still a lot of fun. We spent Christmas Eve making food and playing outside. Just before we left for church, we took a walk to drop off some of our baked goods at a friends house. The girls rode on the electric skateboard, which sounded like a great idea at the time. However, on the ride home, the board got going too fast for Maddux to control it, and they toppled. Ruby was such a trooper - no tears, just a pouty lip. Her face, however, tells a different story.

At church, Ruby fell asleep on Lehr's shoulder, which was probably his favorite part about the whole day. We stopped for sushi on the way home (our new Christmas Eve dinner), and then we went home to change for holiday light-seeing. The kids put on their matching PJ's and we made some hot cocoa and set out with my pre-made map/list. There were a few really cool houses, but the winner was the one that included a neighborhood full of ball-type light creations that were strung high in the trees. It was taken to the next level when one of the houses started lighting up sky lanterns just as we drove by. We pulled over and watched them light about a dozen before letting them loose in the sky. So pretty and fun to watch. The night finished with the kids opening their gifts to each other - their tradition.

Christmas Day started with our scavenger hunt to find Baby Jesus to put in the manger. (Of course, that included some arguing also, as it always does.) We opened some gifts, ate some breakfast and enjoyed just being. Just after noon, we gave the kids their 'big' gifts. We usually don't do a big Christmas, but each kid wanted something larger than usual this year, and we went for it. Maddux opened an iPod Touch (which she's begged for since forever), and Eli received a new guitar. They were psyched, to say the least.

After the gifts, we started our (new) annual Christm-olympics. It was a lot of fun, Ruby had a blast, and the big kids actually got along!

It was warm and sunny outside, so we got to do at least half of the events in the backyard. Maddux and Eli legitimately tied for first place, and in an unexpected twist, Eli said he did NOT want to do an extra game to determine the winner - he thought it was best that they tied.

We followed that up with homemade spaghetti and meatballs and an ice cream birthday cake for Jesus.

Youth Christmas Party

As much as the big kids (Eli, especially) love our church youth group, the annual Christmas Party takes it to a new level. The year before he could join the big kids, the 5th grade party included a costume component, and he rose to the challenge, dressing in a sweatshirt that we decorated (a la Ugly Christmas sweater). The following year, he didn't get a chance to go all out because we came directly from a Revivalists' show in town (priorities), but last year he jumped back in by wearing a tree skirt covered in lights and tinsel and dollar tree ornaments. It was fantastic.

But raising the bar like that each year can be hard, so when he brought up this year's party, I really thought he might opt to dress in nice clothes instead (the alternate option). Nope; a few days before he decided to create a Charlie Brown costume. We bought a yellow shirt for $2.95 and sharpied the black zigzag, and he pulled shorts and the rest from his closet. Then he constructed the Charlie Brown Christmas tree on his own, down to the lone red ball ornament.

You're a good man, Charlie Brown!