Growing Up

For about five years, we've gathered this crazy group of kids for an annual picture. Something a little more 'formal' than the everyday ones we catch as they do life together.

Travel and then a pandemic pushed us back into the summer; we usually do this during the holidays.

So many fun relationships in here...I love seeing the personalities come out year after year, both inside of the photos and in my backseat and backyard.

These kids started their relationships before Ruby was even born, when the only school kids we had were two brand new kindergarten boys. They each have connections in fun and unique ways.

My circus. My monkeys. So so so thankful for the community we have with this family!

The Space We're In

In the blink of an eye. Expectant parents hear it over and over from those who have gone before them. And it rings true for every stage from the nighttime feedings through college. Never have I been made more aware of that than this fall. While I've noticed Eli and Maddux growing up, and I've seen some 'stage-passing', I suddenly find that we are in a stage that I didn't even realize was so close.

In the last 4-6 weeks Maddux has started 4th grade which has proven to be a pivotal year in our house. She has more homework (not necessarily in a bad way) than before, her classroom responsibilities (independent of family support) has increased, she has freedoms at school that she didn't before (pre-school day activities and recess activities that foster some Independence and choice), and she is staying after school two days each week for various activities. All of that in addition to soccer, which we were overjoyed to find out she wanted to try again.

At the same time, Eli started middle school and its obvious new stage. He's got way more work than before, and I don't even know about most of it, he carries a laptop throughout his day (heavily monitored by the school), he participates in two after school activities meaning Friday is the only day he comes home before 5, he is involved in baseball again, but in the second to last tier of the league (aka BIG kid ball), and he is participating in band.

Sound like a lot? It is! We didn't intentionally get to this 'lot' place...Maddux has been less than enthusiastic about a sport or extracurricular for the last few years, so this fall we decided to not push a team, but instead to try two 'FAST' programs so she could try something on for size with very short commitment. She opted for a running club and a chemistry program. Then, after those had started, she started speaking up about soccer. We did what we could to get her on a team, but this now meant two day/week practices in addition to FAST. The girl is handling it like a champ so far. She is LOVING soccer and thriving at it, and she seems to have a flair for running; she currently holds the #4 fastest girl in the school title for the mile run.

Our rule has always been one activity at a time for each kid, but with Middle School comes school teams and activities that require less commitment from the parents. And I wanted to encourage Eli to try all of this cool new stuff that was available to him. He is always up for that kind of thing, so he hopped into Cross Country two weeks before school started. He runs 2-3 days each week for practice and has 1-2 meets a week. The meets require driving, but the practices are right after school on campus, so it's 'easy'. Robotics just opened up and Eli signed up. Only one meeting each week, but again, it's easy. Now he's talking baseball (for the school) or swim. And of course he's playing a team at the same league he's been involved with since he was 4. But this baseball team is so different. The boys are so big and the rules are getting very 'real'....it is amazing to watch! Oh yeah, and Eli needs a ride to and from school each day.

So this 'lot' requires much coordination on our part. My logistical gymnastic ability (or lack there of) is being tested daily, and I am ever grateful of the village around me that allows for carpooling and kid shuffling. This fosters some Independence from my kids as they are in and out of other families' cars often now, hopefully being gracious and courteous. All of this 'lot' of school work and activities has quickly become the new norm and I couldn't be more proud of Maddux and Eli for how they are handling it. Grades are not perfect but really good, and through minimal nagging and/or assistance from us. These kids are growing up and becoming responsible in ways I didn't even know I could expect of them yet. God is good.

In The Clear

Another monthly check-up for Ruby at the AFLAC Cancer Center, and another clean bill of health. This one was a milestone visit as it marks 6-months, and with it comes two great changes for Ruby. No more meds on the weekends! (She doesn't mind taking them anymore, but anything we can do to distance ourselves from cancer is welcomed!) Also, we no longer have to go in every month; now we are on an every other month cycle.

Hooray for continued health!

Middle School Start

How did we go from here

to here

in the blink of an eye?!?

Eli started Middle School today. As in laptop-carrying, locker-having, class-changing middle school. Last week he was sure to rub into Maddux and his younger friend, William, that he did NOT have to be at school yet even though they did. However, he had a full morning of technology training one day, a conference with his home room teacher one day, and cross country practice most mornings. This was all pretty cool to me because it allowed him to be very comfortable on the campus (and in the building) before day one.

Thankfully, Eli was assigned a lower locker; had he received a top one, there is no way he would have been able to reach to unlock it. His schedule will keep him quite mobile this first semester, as he has to travel from the 3rd floor to the 2nd floor to the gym (across the parking lot), back to the 3rd floor, then down to the basement. This afternoon he told me he likes Middle School better than Elementary School because of all of these transitions. I think it makes him feel independent and grown up.

Eli is taking band this year; instruments have not been assigned yet, but he's hoping for a brass horn of sorts. Eli is also taking Latin this semester. He has his first test next week, so I was using flashcards with him tonight to help him study. Before we started, he gave me a quick tutorial on how to use flashcards. Bless his heart.

Cross Country is something we discussed last year and I'm so glad he still wanted to join by the time school started. This was another 'before the first day' thing for him; they have had voluntary runs for the two weeks leading up to the first day. Eli has been logging about 8-10 miles a week.

Therapy Wrap-Up

What a week! We just finished school last week, followed by an extended weekend at the beach less than 24 hours later, only to return to a half week full of more than a regular week should hold!

This week was Ruby's last visits through Babies Can't Wait. As she ages out of that system next week, we had our final sessions with her speech therapist and physical therapist. Without intention, those sessions were back-to-back on the same day. This was bittersweet for us as Ruby has been with Sherri (her physical therapist) since the very beginning. Her first session took place when she was 5 weeks old! Sherri taught me so much throughout the last three years...the way she attacked PT with Ruby helped me shape how I handle all of her therapy, and I will forever be grateful to her for that. No breaks for our girl as she doesn't need them, and she's capable of so much if you just push her. Sherri taught me how to view every activity in Ruby's day as an opportunity for PT, and to this day Ruby is complimented on her form.

Paula came along later in the game, but she definitely gave us some great speech time. The main thing both Ruby and I took away from her is slowing everything down (Ruby tends to get very excited and amped up when playing new games in therapy). We will miss these women!

The day after we said good-bye to BCW, we had an appointment with one of the private therapists we love, Vivian. We are hoping to move to a more consistent, more often schedule with her, as she holds Ruby to her potential. She does for Ruby's speech what Sherri did for her PT skills. Our sessions with her are always full full full, and we are left with plenty of good stuff to work on. This visit found her happy with what she was hearing from Ruby. That doesn't mean she let her off the hook or that Ruby didn't have anything she needed to work on, but it is becoming obvious to everyone that Ruby's words are coming!

(Don't) Give That Girl A Hand

Because she doesn't need it!

Ruby had PT on Tuesday morning this week. Our therapist always gives us a handful of 'exercises' to work on for the next week, and we usually rotate through them in the course of our day. This week, however, I kinda stuck on one in particular: helping Ruby to stand without assistance or pulling up. (Or rather, helping Ruby to realize she doesn't NEED assistance to stand.)

Fast forward to Thursday after dinner (just over 48 hours after we started working on it!), Lehr and I were standing in the kitchen having a conversation. Ruby is crawling around and playing at our feet. Suddenly I see her out of the corner of my eye, in the middle of the floor, stand up from the ground and take 3 or 4 steps towards me! She was all smiles and giggle, very proud of herself.

I got her to repeat the stand a few more times before bed, and then our Friday was spent repeating again and again. I got all cheesy and used the prompt, "How big is Ruby??!?" to get her to stand and walk towards me. (Hey, it works!) Now she does it non-stop, which means she is taking more steps than ever.

Therapy Update

Ruby started crawling just after her first birthday. That milestone was long awaited because we worked so hard on it for SO long with little or no progress before she just took off one day. Walking has been different. Ruby has been pulling to stand and walking with a walker, a gait trainer, and parallel bars (when not cruising) for almost six months. But until a month ago, no solo steps. Finally (on November 10), she took two steps when transitioning between the couch and a toy. Totally unprompted by me; we weren't even 'working'...just playing.

In the last month we have been working to get Ruby to walk holding only one of our hands, to take a step or two between couches, to stand unassisted and balance for as long as possible. Sometimes it felt (feels!) like this work is not doing anything because we don't see progress. But then Ruby will have a day where she shows you that she can do all you ask for so effortlessly, and sometimes more!

Today was one of those days. Ruby's therapist came this morning and we discussed what she's been doing since her last visit. We started with standing; I showed her how I'd been supporting Ruby to stand while she played with a toy. By the end of the 'demonstration', Ruby stood for 58-seconds with no support except one finger on the top of one toe through her shoe.

THEN, we moved over to steps. Ruby and I showed her what she's been doing and I commented how Ruby will take 3-4 steps (not too controlled) a bunch of times in one day and then go back to 'lunging' at structures for several day. Ruby obviously heard me because she showed the therapist and I exactly how much control she has. She took up to four VERY controlled steps, totally upright again and again. Never once did she fall into her ending object.

Crazy girl.

This video was taken an hour after therapy, so less of the control, more of the fatigue, but you get the idea.

Ruby-Cube

What an eventful time it is with this girl right now! This is not even a therapy update because these things are not all therapy-driven, BUT our lives are so intertwined with therapy, that honestly every minute of her day is shaped in some (therapy-derived) day. Soooo....update on Ruby or therapy or both, I guess.

Newest tricks for my girl include:

• Dancing. Not really dancing, but she's not responded to music much until this last month. Now she will stop what she's doing and swing her arm (usually right) straight out in front of her when she hears music playing. Love, love, love.
• Standing Unassisted. Really. She has been letting go of whatever support she's used in the standing position for quite some time, but lately she will 'climb' up one of us when we're down on the ground and then right herself to a standing position. She pushed herself to standing from Eli's knee the other day and he was SOO excited.
• Walking. Wait...what? OK, not really. BUT she took her first two (totally unassisted, totally independent) steps this week. At least three separate times in the same day too! 
• Eating Unassisted. Sorta. Ruby's been rocking the feed-herself-with-a-loaded-fork for months now, but I've been experimenting with spoons lately too. While it is a messy endeavor, it's starting to pay off. AND she has her bowl-to-mouth accuracy down because of all of the fork practice.
• Signs. Oh, how many she has. In the last few weeks Ruby has picked up several and uses them often. She still does "all done", but it's more intentional and recognizable now. She will sign "fish" when we are reading a book with a fish photo in it, but only when prompted. She will sign "please" all day long and very emphatically. Usually it's a flipping over hand across her chest, but if she can reach her belly (as in, when she's not in her high chair), she will rub her belly like crazy. And "eat". She will bring her hand to her mouth to tell you she wants to eat. Again, and again.
• Imitation. Ruby is showing us that she can be a very quick learner in every portion of her day. While we always put lotion on her after her bath, I just realized a few weeks ago that I never show her how she can do it herself. It only took one time and now she rubs her arms and chest as soon as she sees the lotion and/or bath soap. Love that little sponge!!

All of the Little Things

They add up.

In just the last week I've noticed so many 'little' things with Ruby. They are likely milestones or progress towards milestones that I didn't notice with the other kids, but when you work so hard on skills, and when you scrutinize every movement or sound your child makes, you notice a lot.

Ruby talks a lot. Most of her talking is babbling, but she has many consonants: m, d, b, l, and then vowel sounds (mostly 'uh', but sometimes 'oh'). She says "more" dozens of times every meal. It ranges from "mmmm" to "moh-rh", and I love it. Ruby says, "ah duh" when we are done with meals. We've worked forever on showing her the sign for "all done" and shaking her hands at the end of each meal. She sometimes will shake her hands randomly, but now she says "ah duh" and looks right at you. She signs "fish". Not a sign that most could recognize (it's basically one hand shaking), but I'm certain that the sign we do every day with her books is catching on with her.

She squats down lower than ever when she's picking something off of the floor. She used to plop down to sitting if she had to squat at all, but now she's able to stay on her feet much lower. And she LOVES to crawl up the stairs. Every time we go up the stairs I put her down and she scales them. So well! She knows it's a big deal too because when she gets to the top, she sits down, looks at me and smiles and giggles.

Ruby knows routines. This is good news, since I'm a routine person :) After every meal (once she says "ah duh"), I take her out of her chair and put her on her feet facing the chair. Then I help her push it back into the corner. She LOVES this and giggles the whole way. When we go upstairs after dinner, she crawls right into the bathroom and pulls herself up on the bath edge. She knows it's bath time. And when I read to her before her nap or bedtime, she knows that when I put the books away, it's time to sing a song and go to bed. She turns herself onto my shoulder, smiles and snuggles and starts to suck her thumb.

The tongue. It's one of my biggest sources of frustration for Ruby. I want her to not have her tongue wagging for the many health reasons, but even more so because I don't want people to underestimate and judge her because of it. The last 16 months have found me working to get that tongue to stay in her mouth around the clock, to the point where some days I feel like it's all I do. While we are still not 'there', Ruby's tongue is in her mouth way more than it ever has been. Not only does she pull it in pretty consistently when I tell her to, or when I tap her chin, but way less pictures that I take show the tongue out. 

I LOVE Ruby kisses! She used to give very wet kisses, as many babies do, but in the last month, she has become quite adept at making an 'mmm' sound and kissing with closed lips. She will definitely do it on command too. My favorite thing is when she looks at you, leans in slightly and says "MMMM"; she likes kisses too.

Ruby follows commands very well. She's not great at obeying 'no', but she's at least as good as my other two were at this age. And when we are doing books or flash cards, she will hand objects back to me when I ask her. We've been trying to teach Ruby to not throw her cup when she's done eating, so we've shown her where to put it on her tray; she now will do that 90% of the time. And after eating with a fork (which she does well), she will now hand it to us rather than dropping it on the floor.

Ruby is pointing! Kind of :) Another big thing we've been working on forever is Ruby using her pointer finger to point while also pulling her other fingers under her palm. We are not quite there on the finger-tucking (she's done it twice, unprompted), she is very much using her pointer finger in a more dominant way, and all on her own. She 'points' with it all of the time now.

Waving is something Ruby has done for months, but it's taken off a lot more in the last few weeks. She knows what signals a wave too. When the bus pulls up to the stop in the afternoon, Ruby waves furiously at the yellow vehicle because she knows she will see Maddux and Eli seconds later. And when she hears the garage door open, she looks at me, says "duh" and waves: Daddy's home.

Parlor Tricks

Ruby's got all kinds of new skills these days. They are not necessarily things anyone but me would notice; most of the things I'm noticing are because I spend so much time studying Ruby and her movements and her speech each day.

On a side note, when Ruby was born, a fellow mom told me that we would celebrate every milestone because of how hard we would see Ruby working for them. I agree with that, but I think that even more we notice every milestone...even ones we didn't necessarily notice with Eli and Maddux. It is so so cool to see Ruby turn the corner on a skill, even more when it's NOT one that I've been directly working with her on.

Ruby does not have any full words, but she says "moh" very emphatically for "more" at least 50% of the time. (The rest of the time it's "mo-mo-mo" or "MMMMM".) And (and this is big) she uses it for things other than food: toys, books. She will also say "mamamama" to me, and "da!" for Lehr. She does say "da" when referencing other things too, but she definitely knows it's "Daddy"; just last night we were playing in her room and she looked up and said, "DA?" when she heard the garage door open.

We are working on "o", "b" and "p" pretty routinely. Ruby doesn't do "o" unassisted, but when I use the tongue depressor to prompt her, she gives me a great "ohhh!" "B" and "p" are hard because when Ruby mimics what my lips do, she gives me a "ma" (instead of "ba" or "pa") sound. But when I help her out, she doesn't fight me too much and I think she's getting really close to getting it!

Ruby's not quite walking unassisted, but she will pull herself up and cruise around, side-stepping and 'front' stepping now. The side-stepping is new and very cool. And when she pulls up to stand using my hands (I don't assist; she just uses me to steady herself), she immediately starts walking forward now, and with a pretty good gait. Also, her crawling is officially speedy; she's never in sight for more than a few seconds.
We are still working VERY hard on Ruby's pincer grasp and pointing with her pointer finger. Only minimal progress with the point, but her general grasp and control of objects is progressing nicely. The piggy bank toy she's been working with for months is now a task she can do on her own. And some of her other toys are moving through the rotation now because of her new manipulation ability.

The tongue. Oh, how I work on getting that tongue to stay in her mouth. The poor girl has been uber congested for over a month now: between small colds and new teeth (we're up to 6!), she can't catch a break. Obviously a stuffed up nose make mouth-breathing a necessity. But I'm still working with her and I'm happy to report that at least half of the time when I say "tongue in", Ruby pulls it in and closes her lips without me touching her.

One of the biggest things I'm noticing with Ruby is her increasing attention to what I'm trying to engage her with. Because she and I have always spent so much time one-on-one, she stays pretty alert to me, but now she is trying to mimic my actions. She will take the brush and 'brush' her hair, or take a sock and put it to her foot, and her newest one is taking the container of little rubber bands that I use for her hair and putting it (the container) on top of her head. Seriously adorable.

All of this to say, I love this stage. Seriously love this stage. And this girl. SERIOUSLY love this girl.

Look Out!

One of the most anticipated moments of her short life so far occurred this afternoon; Ruby crawled!!

Pretty much every exercise we've done with Ruby, almost every single PT session, and the majority of our 'play' has been in an effort to prepare Ruby for mobility. While she's been rolling, sitting up, and inching her arms and toes to move around her play area for quite some time now, she has yet to army crawl or even inch worm so far. Today things took a big turn.

Just before nap time I told the kids that I was going to do some PT with Ruby for about 20 minutes. I started with her version of pull-ups and progressed to working on cruising. (She stands forever, but doesn't appear to want to cruise.) It was a particularly frustrating session as Ruby was not showing any progress on the cruising things I've been working very hard on with her every day for the last week. To finish out our time, I enticed her with some puffs to do some army crawling. This is another area I've been working with the same set of exercises with for a looong time with no progress. Much to my surprise, Ruby resisted almost immediately, but it was because she decided to try the REAL crawl instead of the army crawl. HOOAH!!

After a few passes, I had the kids video a few attempts. Of course her best runs were not caught on film, but we still got a good representation.