futball

oh the hours. how many did you spend on the baseball field only to come home and throw or catch or hit until we made you stop. how much time and energy and love did you put into that game, both as a player and a fan. and while i loved baseball before you came along, i REALLY loved baseball when it involved you, even though the practices were long and many, and the games were long and many, and our lives were simply the moments between driving to and from the field.

when you switched to soccer a few years ago, it broke my heart. it seemed like you started to see something that you hadn't seen before. it seemed like you doubted your ability. it seemed like you noticed a gap between your skills and those of the other players. (mama bears don't like those kind of feelings, fyi.) so i mourned the absence of baseball, mostly because you had such a driving passion for it and i really really loved watching that in you, and i was afraid you might not have that for another sport.

but here we are, three years later, and you are still loving soccer. this last year has found you making the school team and playing on a more schedule-demanding club team. and while the kids are still bigger than you, as they often are in every area of your life, you have something real to add to the team. your many practices each week - often two each day to cover both teams - is showing up on the field in the way you work with your teammates in this dance that is not choreographed, but still so fluid. i think you know you're not the best player on the field, but you carry yourself as though you know that you have a lot to offer the team. you walk with confidence. and mama bears DO like those kinds of feelings.