Fall Soccer

It's another season of COVID-craziness, but at least one area of Eli's life has not been terribly upended. For the last several years he's played on a continuous soccer team, allowing for practices summer-spring with a full fall season and some tournaments in the spring. Last spring we ended in March, obviously, but this summer we picked right back up with tryouts. There was talk of limited games and limited spectatorship, but honestly it all worked out pretty similar to our regular season.

Our family (and most others) wore masks on the sidelines, and we spread out more than usual with our personal chairs, but the boys all played the whole outdoor season without masks or incidence of super-spreader activity. (I think one two players quarantined for a week of practices due to exposure, but that was it.)

The season went the way it usually does for Eli and his teammates: lots of practices and great work during games, but without many goals (and wins) to show for it. But the final weekend was an in-town tournament with three games leading to the finals.

Eli's team won two games and tied the third, so they advanced to the finals: a total welcomed shock to all of us! The final game was a great one where both teams fought hard, resulting in a tie. Because it was the finals, that meant they went to a shoot-out, and Eli was one of the kickers. Unfortunately, after many back-and-forth kicks, the boys lost. 

all grows up

 you are growing up.

that's something that obviously happens for all people, but it's different with you. when i've noticed over the years that your sister or brother are suddenly 'so big', it usually catches me by surprise because it seems to have happened without me noticing. maybe because i've not watched, helped and prayed over the process in the same way.

you meet milestones, just as they have, but in your own time which may or may not resemble theirs. the awesome byproduct of your pace is that i rarely find myself saying, "it went so fast - i just blinked and suddenly they were walking/talking/reading". 

as a 'seasoned' parent with two high schoolers, i am all too familiar with the bittersweet way kids rapidly grow up. so this pace of yours is one that makes your growth something that can be enjoyed thoroughly without sadness over missing a stage that ended prematurely.

this pace also rarely allows for you to take me by surprise, so when you do, I relish in it. this week you spent no less than ten minutes a few days in a row, meticulously brushing and 'fixing' your hair in a very grown up way that i've not seen from you before. thank you for taking me by surprise.

The Haircut

since she lost her hair during chemo, 5 years ago, we've only had a few tiny trims to the length of ruby's hair.   but recent weeks have found it falling into her cereal bowl, getting stuck in her collar, and even under her pencil as she writes and colors. i'm a long hair fan - mine hasn't been at my shoulders in over 20 years - but even in a ponytail, it was starting to get in ruby's way.

when i booked the appointment for thanksgiving week, i wasn't entirely sure of my plan, but 'short' was likely in the description. ruby sat like a champ as the hairdresser listened to what i was thinking; she barely even cracked a smile out of sheer intentional obedience. in the end, we ended up with bangs and an adorable bob, and ruby was able to donate just over 6 inches to an organization that makes (for free) wigs for kids without hair.

and i love it. 

ruby's first day back to school after the break, her teachers tell me that she was like a celebrity, with everyone complimenting her on her new haircut.

More Alike Than Different

About a year ago, Ruby was asked to be a flower girl for the wedding of OUR flower girl and her fiancé. Of course, she was happy to accept, even though she didn't have much of a concept of what a wedding was, let alone a flower girl.

About a month ago we found her dress and started practicing what her responsibilities would be. Lehr found a basket and I ripped up some paper so that Ruby could practice tossing pedals as she walked down a long aisle. 

The day of was a windy, but beautiful Florida day and Ruby woke me up with the sun, saying, "It's wedding day!" She was obviously excited. Maddux, Ruby and I went to the venue several hours ahead of the ceremony so that Ruby could take part in seeing the girls get dressed and participating in any photos requested. After watching the bride get her hair done, Ruby agreed to have hers fixed as well. She sat very well for the stylist to curl and braid her hair. (And then Maddux even got some curls!) 

When it came time, Ruby sat for all of the photos in the dressing area, and then a little later she stood for photos outside with everyone. Her stamina was wearing off, but she held it together. The ceremony time arrived and Ruby walked down the outdoor aisle like a champ, doing exactly what we'd told her to. (Walk slowly, dropping pedals and stop when you get to the altar.)

Even though I thought we might leave before the reception because of Ruby's exhaustion, she was doing so well that we stayed. She ate dinner and even danced with Daddy once. The drive home was over thirty minutes, and she did pass out before it was over, but all in all, she hung in amazingly well. That girl surprises me at every turn, acting mature beyond her years at times. 

Halloween

I can't remember the last time I enjoyed watching the joy of Halloween as much as I did this year. I know I  loved it when the big kids were little, and I do remember pausing to take in the fun while they were experiencing things 'new' each year. But as I am often reminded, there is just something about Ruby that makes everything a little more joyful. 

When it comes to dressing up, I love the group costumes. I gave way to the big kids' desire to choose their own when they were little, but even now that I'm choosing another priority I still want Ruby to be a part of the decision, so we usually let her take the lead on steering us. This year that meant we would be dressing up as her current favorite soundtrack: Coco. (She likes the movie too, but we listen to the music of her favorites daily whereas she's probably seen each of the movies once or twice total.) That meant she would be Miguel and Lehr and I were to be her great-grandparents. A few trips to Goodwill (the purple dress was the easiest thing to find), an order from Hanes.com (the red sweatshirt was the hardest thing to find!), and some scissor work completed the ensemble for us.

Because it's 2020, our typical neighborhood parade, costume contest and pizza party were canceled, but we still had trick-or-treating. No doorbells were rung, and only a few front doors were even visited; most families set bowls, displays, or tables up in their driveways either unmanned, or with chairs set up a safe distance away. 

The houses that had people out front were Ruby's favorite, of course. She engaged every person she encountered, asking them "Who are you?", before gleefully proclaiming, "I am Miguel!!" She was tickled at all of the costumes, stopping pirates and princesses and animals to chat and comment on their get-up. She told everyone she saw, "Happy Halloween!" and just took her time soaking everything in all night. Ruby walked 75% of the time, hopping in the stroller mainly when we were trying to cover longer stretches between houses, which is awesome because we were out there for about two hours. 

It was so amazing to watch her just LOVE everything about this holiday - the scary, the silly, the cute, the recognizable - was so fun. It makes me sad that this year we didn't get to attend our favorite Halloween parade filled with even more scary Halloween magic. 

Maddux had a few friends over to trick-or-treat, which I love. (I think that if you are willing to invest time and energy into a costume (and you have good manners) you can trick-or-treat until you're a great grandmother.) The five of them dressed up like the Strawberry Shortcake group, maybe just a little reimagined. Eli also dressed up (like a hot dog again) and went out with a friend for a short bit, but I didn't get a picture.

Catch Me If You Can

Maddux returned to cross country this fall, after opting for volleyball last year instead. When she started practices, she had to work back up to running the whole 2-3 miles at practice, but quickly her stamina returned. And her speed was always there. 

That girl was born with amazing form and efficiency with her running, which is another reason I was so glad to see her revisit this sport.

The season was without issue: Maddux participated in at least half a dozen meets, finishing first for her team in all but one of them, and finishing in the top 10 a few times. She would beat her previous time, only to beat it again the following week, again and again. 

It was such a joy to watch Maddux run, and to be challenged. She appeared to glide through each race without effort, but in talking to her afterwards, she was developing mental toughness to stay ahead certain competitors and finish strong. I hope next fall finds her on the course again.

Still in School

We are still in school, three weeks later, which is GREAT news of course. And, as expected by parents of school aged children everywhere, there is a (re) learning curve when it comes to 'how to be' at school.

Ruby is really enjoying school, her teachers, and the friends that are in-person with her. But she is having to be reminded how to line up, how to find and use the proper restroom, how to maintain energy/stamina all day. And also, she is having to learn how to wear a mask all ding-dang day. We worked on mask wearing for at least a month before school returned, and Ruby had built up to 2+ hours (no breaks) before we sent her to school. But, as it is for students of all ages everywhere, wearing a mask in school from 7AM-2PM is hard, especially when you don't really understand why. 

Despite all of that, Ruby's teachers have been amazing with working with her to do all of the things they know she can do. She has about 1/2 of her class in-person with her (the rest are still working from home), and she is still rocking the carpool line in the morning.

For now I think that's all I can ask for!

Back to School

Almost seven full months after leaving the routine of school, Ruby was able to return to the classroom this week. Academically, digital learning was fine because at least half of the time we turned the screen off and worked on our own. But the regression I saw in the areas of socialization and Ruby's ability to work independently was concerning to say the least. All of that to say, this last Monday morning couldn't come fast enough!

Honestly, pulling up to the school and having Ruby get herself out of the car - ALL INDEPENDENTLY - is my new most favorite thing. She had a great first day. She was totally excited to get out of my car, greet the principal and walk into school. She wore her mask pretty much the whole day and loved getting to buy lunch (to eat in the classroom). Day two started great: I teared up as I dropped her off in response to her 'big girl' display in the carpool line: she took off her seatbelt, put on her mask, put on her backpack (all independently) and then waited for me to stop before opening the door on her own, hopping out, turning around and saying, "Bye, Mommy. Love you!". She then shut the door and walked towards the school (like every other student!!) Big time proud moment. The rest of the day had a few challenges (basically testing the waters and figuring out how to be in a school/public place again). 

Day three was amazing with GREAT behavior and engagement. Ruby was so proud of herself too, telling me 'I had a happy day!' when I picked her up that afternoon. Day four was more of the same. She came home with new library books, and she was happy to tell me about her good day again. She's so excited to see so many friends and teachers in person!

All of the Words

As much as I am noticing articulation regression with Ruby, she is still expanding her vocabulary and working 'word bank'. She often gives us a gem of a complete sentence, totally independently and momentarily eases my worries that I still have to model "Can you please turn on music?" to her every single time we get in the car.

• A few weeks ago we were outside enjoying a nice breeze in the middle of the summer and I said, "It's beautiful outside today!" Without missing a beat, Ruby responded, "Yeah. God made it."
• "Absolutely" I love it when she pulls this one out, always in the most appropriate of context and usually pretty articulate.
• "Because" This is her most used word right now when she is talking totally unprompted. She loves to tell you the answer to your question, and then follows it up with "....because......beCAUSE..... because...." The other day I told her we were going to go to the store to get ingredients for dinner. She immediately told me, "OK, we need to get some pasta and sauce because it's my favorite. Then we'll get some hummus because that's for snack beCAUSE after school I'm hungry...
• 
  
  

Another Wave

I've said (mostly to myself) several times during these recent months of the pandemic how much I miss live music. It is something that absolutely fuels me. This has been the longest 'dry spell' I've ever experienced in my adult life and it is wearing on me. I didn't realize how much until this afternoon.

Two years ago I spent 48 hours celebrating a good friend's birthday in Colorado, watching The Revivalists perform at Red Rocks for the first time. Awesome experience, obviously. Thinking back on that experience today, I thought it would be a good idea to listen to a 2019 recording of a show while I was hanging out with Ruby. The first few notes unexpectedly hit me pretty hard. I was overcome with a really heavy feeling in my chest... like grief, which is kind of crazy, right? 

That stinks.

Music is something that always lifts my mood, especially live music, especially from New Orleans, but listening to it today had the opposite effect and I'm not sure how to reconcile that. For as long as I can remember (maybe with the introduction of kids into my life), live shows have provided a bit of a release for me. Regardless of what is going on, while the music is playing, I'm able to unload it all at the door: no parental worries (even when and maybe even especially when they are with me), no responsibilities, no anything other than being present in that moment. I'm such a responsibility-wearing-uptight-type-A that being 100% present is hard for me. So today I'm mourning the last seven-ish months of missed music, including my beloved Jazz Fest.

I know live shows will return, andI know they will be better than ever, but right now that release is not here and I think I need it more than I realized.