Home Stay

Here's something that sounds like a great thing, but isn't always: staying home for count recovery.

Do not mishear me; given a choice between staying in the hospital through count recovery, like we did for rounds one and two, and going home for that time, I choose going home every time. But it's not like we are *really* home for that 3-week period.

Ruby finished her fifth round of chemo last Wednesday, putting her home Wednesday afternoon. Saturday afternoon we discovered a tear in her central line (the tube coming out of her chest), so Lehr spent four hours in the hospital with her to get it fixed (no notice). Sometime this week, it is very likely that Ruby will have to spend the entire day in the clinic to receive blood or platelets or both (less than a 24-hour notice). And if she doesn't need them both at the same time, that will mean two visits to the clinic for a day. Next week? We will be on lock-down at the house. She will not be able to be in public, and we won't be able to have visitors, due to low counts. The low counts always result in a 48+ hour stay in the hospital when she spikes a fever (about an hour's notice). The following week, she will be admitted for 8-days for another round of chemo.

Yup....sounds like a big ole complaining post, I know. It's really not that I want to complain as much as being home makes me realize just how much our life still isn't our own until this is all over. At best, any plans we make these days (at least involving either Lehr or myself and Ruby) are tentative. At best, she's home for seven days without a trip to the clinic or hospital. At best (and this has only happened once), she goes 14 straight nights in her own bed. That's not good enough for me.

So because our life is not our own, because we are so close to the end, because I'm ready to put this behind us, March can't get here fast enough.